Is your child’s diet limited to just a few select foods? Do you find yourself preparing the same few meals repeatedly? While it’s clear that your child is a picky eater, research suggests that “selective eating” may be associated with anxiety, depression, and ADHD, as highlighted in a study published in Pediatrics and reported by the New York Times.
This connection makes sense. Children who experience anxiety often exhibit hesitance when it comes to trying new experiences—whether it’s unfamiliar playground equipment, meeting new friends, or engaging with a new teacher. Food is simply one area where this reluctance manifests. The study’s lead author, Dr. Emily Reynolds, noted that picky eaters may possess heightened sensitivity: “Their sensory experiences, especially regarding taste, texture, and visual aspects, are more intense, leading to stronger emotional reactions.”
While a child with a varied palate may munch on a crisp celery stalk or enjoy a beet without much thought, a selective eater might be deterred by unfamiliar textures, opting to avoid potentially unpleasant foods altogether.
Upon reading this, I found a personal connection. As someone who struggles with anxiety, my food preferences lean towards comforting, predictable options like meat, pasta, and cheese—foods that provide a soothing sensation. Although I enjoy certain fruits and vegetables, they can be hit or miss. For instance, the sweetness of summer peaches delights me, but the sourness of winter strawberries is unappealing. Similarly, I find tomatoes palatable in summer but not during the rest of the year, while broccoli’s texture can be off-putting unless roasted.
For years, I attributed my selective eating habits to my upbringing—rooted in a traditional American diet heavy on meat and starch. However, perhaps it’s more about my heightened sensitivity to certain food flavors and textures. Foods like grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup deliver a comforting dopamine rush that other options simply don’t.
While my children may not exhibit signs of anxiety, they share my affinity for grilled cheese and tomato soup, making the introduction of new foods a challenge. They tend to favor carbs and proteins over fruits and vegetables, and I’ve often felt guilty about my inability to encourage them to enjoy greens and fruits.
We’ve been following Ellyn Satter’s division of responsibility in feeding, where I choose the meals, and they decide what and how much to eat from their plates without pressure or negotiation. Though this approach has proven effective, it’s hard to ignore their preference for carbs over veggies. The recent study has provided some relief, as it reassures me that the challenge of getting my children to embrace more vegetables isn’t solely a reflection of my parenting skills. Some individuals simply have different taste preferences, not necessarily due to a lack of exposure or resistance.
Dr. Reynolds also emphasizes that parenting is interconnected; food doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It’s crucial to remember that the goal of raising children is to ensure they develop nutritional habits, cooking skills, and an appreciation for a diverse range of foods over time. This process unfolds over years, not in a single meal or two.
Dr. Reynolds advocates for maintaining the division of responsibility at mealtimes and suggests that family dinners should prioritize connection rather than just consumption. It’s important to cultivate an environment where kids enjoy both the company and the meal. So, if your child opts for grilled cheese for the third time this week, try not to feel guilty.