In this yearlong series, a stay-at-home mom shares her experiences as her youngest daughter embarks on her senior year of high school and navigates the college admissions process. Simultaneously, she reflects on her own transformation as she prepares for an empty nest and contemplates her future beyond motherhood.
For me, August has always marked the transition from summer to the school year. The days noticeably shorten, back-to-school ads flood the airwaves, and autumn decor begins to appear in stores. However, this August signifies an even more profound shift in my life—my youngest child is about to start her senior year of high school. In just one year, I will find myself as an empty nester, at least part-time, while she begins her college journey.
Eighteen years ago, I made the decision to leave my role as managing editor at a small publishing company in New York to become a stay-at-home mom. At the time, I had a 3-year-old daughter and was four months pregnant with my second. My work had lost its appeal, and living in New Jersey made the two-hour commute combined with caring for two children seem insurmountable. My husband and I were concerned about surviving on a single income, but we decided to take a leap of faith—I would dedicate one year to being at home with our newborn and then seek a job that was more fulfilling and closer to home. “Just one year,” I assured my husband the night before I submitted my resignation.
That single year turned into two, then five, and ultimately into eighteen. Throughout this time, there were moments when finances were tight, prompting me to explore re-entering the workforce. I went on interviews and received a few job offers, yet I consistently turned them down. Despite the financial strain—and recognizing the privilege of having a choice—I cherished my time at home. I volunteered extensively in my daughters’ schools, founded a small nonprofit, and eventually returned to my passion for writing, contributing freelance articles to local publications. I authored and self-published three novels and had essays featured on various platforms. Each year, I pondered whether it would be the right time to return to work, but I always found a reason to stay.
My younger daughter has required my undivided attention. When asked why I don’t work outside the home, I gently clarify—I don’t work beyond our household. This conversation often arises at social gatherings, where I explain that my daughter is my primary focus. She has needed every ounce of my time, even during her school hours, especially when she’s home.
Now, however, she is preparing to leave. We toured colleges last year, and she has compiled her list. She has completed her SATs and ACTs and sought recommendations from two teachers. She has organized her extracurriculars. While she is excited about college, she also feels anxious. She dislikes being away from home, even for sleepovers, and values her routine. Yet, she is eager to meet new friends, gain more independence, and discover her new home.
I am thrilled to assist her in this important transition into adulthood. The big question is where she will take her next steps. Will it be the small college nearly across the country with its unique block scheduling? The liberal arts state school where she felt immediately at ease? Or perhaps the larger private university four hours away, offering a myriad of major options? What will her life look like a year from now?
As she prepares for this new chapter, another question looms for me: What will I do a year from now? What is my next step? Many of my friends have returned to work full-time, some navigating the challenges of balancing careers with parenting during our children’s formative years. They have since advanced in their careers, taking promotions or pursuing further education to re-establish their professional lives. I, however, have not followed that path.
Will I find a job? Should I consider part-time or full-time work? Given the competitive job market, can I even secure a position? Would volunteering in a field of interest be more beneficial? Or should I take time to adjust after my daughter leaves? Should I explore something entirely new, or continue focusing on writing? I could write novels indefinitely. But is that enough?
At 47, after dedicating 21 years to raising my children, I find myself at a crossroads. What does my future hold? It’s the beginning of the end—for both of us.
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Summary:
In this reflective piece, a stay-at-home mom explores the emotional journey of her youngest daughter’s final year of high school and the impending transition to college. Simultaneously, she grapples with her own identity and future as she faces the prospect of an empty nest after nearly two decades dedicated to parenting.
