Despite feeling like I’m still in my twenties, there have been moments when younger individuals have made me acutely aware of my age. It’s a curious experience, often disheartening, when age-shaming occurs, and I suspect I will continue to encounter such instances in the future. Here are four memorable occasions when I felt the sting of being deemed too old by younger women.
1. Thrift Store Encounter
Normally, I would donate my gently used clothes to charity, but one day, I decided to try selling them instead. I had never visited the local thrift store, but I figured they would be delighted to accept my nicer items. Upon arriving with a suitcase full of clothes, the teenage clerk instructed me to browse while she assessed my items. After a short while, she approached me and said, “Um, these clothes are like, too mature for our store. We can’t take any of them.” I was taken aback and replied, “Are you sure? There are pieces from Anthropologie in there.” (I emphasized “Anthropologie” to highlight their quality.) She simply looked down and said, “Yeah.”
2. Concert Experience
When Justin Timberlake performed in our city, my friends and I eagerly attended. As the concert progressed, he covered Bell Biv DeVoe’s “Poison,” and I couldn’t contain my excitement. My friends and I were dancing and singing with abandon. However, I noticed two young women behind us recording our antics. They exchanged looks, rolled their eyes, and shrugged, which made me feel self-conscious. In response, I intensified my dance moves, making sure to show them that my enthusiasm exceeded their judgment.
3. Bar Experience
Waiting at a crowded bar is one of my least favorite activities. As I edged closer to the bar, I observed the bartender checking IDs. To speed things up, I prepared mine in advance. When it finally came time for me to order, the bartender didn’t ask for my ID. I pulled it out anyway and asked, “Don’t you need to see my ID?” This prompted laughter from the bartender, leaving me feeling out of place.
4. Shopping at Forever 21
This one was inevitable. Despite my closet being filled with mature pieces from Anthropologie, sometimes I crave a cheap outfit for casual outings. As I approached the register, the young cashier asked, “Do you need a gift receipt?” I responded, “No, thank you.” She paused and then said, “Oh, I thought you were buying a gift for someone. Is this for you?” At that moment, I felt a wave of frustration and almost wish I could have dramatically exited, flipping over accessories displays as I left.
It may be easy to dismiss these women as misguided, but I remember feeling similarly about older women in my youth. One day, they too will experience the realization of time passing swiftly, perhaps laughing with friends while younger patrons make comments. Ultimately, while it stings to be age-shamed, it becomes easier to brush off such remarks and continue enjoying life with friends.
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Summary
In this article, I shared four personal experiences highlighting moments of age-shaming by younger women. Each vignette illustrates the unexpected realization of feeling older in certain social situations. While these encounters can be disheartening, they also serve as a reminder that age is just a number, and enjoying life is what truly matters.