Updated: Aug. 20, 2023
Originally Published: July 25, 2023
It happened again tonight. I felt like a runner pushing through the last few miles of a marathon—though, to be clear, I’ve never actually run one. I did walk a 5K once, so that counts for something, right?
There I was at 6:45 p.m., when the baby decided to turn the living room into a water park, and my toddler was demanding I set up a Play-Doh station. Just as I attempted to multitask, my phone buzzed with a text.
Noooo!
Yes, I’m running late.
Great.
Typically, I handle my responsibilities like a pro. Each day, I tackle the grocery shopping, the endless cleaning, and the myriad of parenting tasks with a smile, or at least I try. But when I’m pushed to my limits, things start to unravel. My breaking point tends to be around 7 p.m., precisely when my partner usually walks in the door. But when he’s late, I shift into panic mode. My thoughts usually spiral like this:
- Why is this happening? Right at this moment, something catastrophic occurs, like the toddler deciding to sample glue or the baby creating an art piece using the contents of his diaper. The chaos seems to escalate at the worst times.
- How will I manage dinner and entertain these little gremlins? Ironically, my kids seem just as fed up with me as I am with them. I’m not a terrible parent, but after being “on duty” for 14 hours, I’m out of creative ideas and energy.
- How late is late? Is it just 10 minutes, 15, or an hour? If it drags on to an hour, I might need to lock myself in the bathroom with the baby, who has a strange fascination with toilets. The older kids will just need to entertain themselves without causing too much havoc.
- It’s been forever since I conversed with an adult. The last adult interaction I had was with someone at the grocery store, who didn’t speak English. I found myself rambling about my grandmother’s last visit while he nodded politely. I should check if he’s working tomorrow; he was a good listener.
- Everything will be alright. I can handle this; I’ve been managing all day. I’m grateful for my partner, but what if he leaves me? What if he’s found someone else who looks better than I do? She probably has perfect hair and manicured nails, unlike my current state.
“Hey, hon, what’s for dinner?”
“Broiled Salmon, Eau de Toilette, with a dash of toddler chaos.”
“Really? He’s finally moved on from his toilet obsession?”
“Not even close.”
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In summary, managing family life while waiting for a partner can be a juggling act filled with unexpected challenges and thoughts that spiral into overdrive. Finding a balance and staying grounded is essential, even when chaos reigns.