“Goodnight, Dad.”
“Goodnight!” I wave from the living room, enjoying the peaceful moment of my children settling down for the night. Parenting tweens has its challenges, but one major benefit is their ability to go to bed independently and sleep soundly through the night. Finally, some peace!
When I turned 40, I decided to prioritize my sleep. After a decade of sleepless nights with infants, I was ready to reclaim my rest. So, when I kissed my husband goodnight and rolled over, I was ready for an uninterrupted night’s sleep…until I heard it.
“Znnnh…”
What on earth was that?
“Honey? Did you say something?” Silence. My husband has a remarkable talent for falling asleep the moment his head hits the pillow. I tried to drift off, but soon enough, the noise returned—a small, choking sound, reverberating from his side of the bed. “Znh!”
Oh, no he didn’t!
Concerned for his well-being, I gently nudged him. He jerked awake as if startled by a loud alarm. “What’s wrong?”
“Roll over! You’re snoring!” I whispered urgently.
And just like that, my peaceful nights were disrupted. Initially, it was an occasional disturbance, perhaps once a week. Now, it’s a nightly occurrence. As someone who struggles to fall asleep, I rely on two essentials: darkness and silence. This new noise was a major issue. I had finally reached the milestone of regular sleep, only to have my spouse’s snoring become my new nemesis. Seriously?
I was ready to suggest separate sleeping arrangements. “It was nice knowing you, but I think we need to start sleeping in different rooms.”
“Oh really? Should we just get separate houses while we’re at it?” he shot back.
“Sure! Can I have the bigger one? You can take the shed out back and schedule visits!”
While we joked about our “his-and-hers” living arrangements, it became clear we weren’t the only ones dealing with this issue. Mentioning snoring to other couples often results in a flurry of blame, similar to the reaction to who’s worse at household chores. Many are resorting to sleeping in separate beds, on couches, or even in their kids’ rooms, all in the name of getting some much-needed rest.
For now, we’ve found a workaround. My bedtime routine now includes setting my alarm, charging my phone, and… putting in earplugs. I found a pair that dulls my husband’s snoring while allowing me to hear important sounds, like tornado warnings or any signs of children getting sick.
I consider myself fortunate: my husband is relatively thin, so his snoring resembles the sound of small branches being cut rather than the cacophony of a full-blown chainsaw. I’ve experienced the agony of sharing a space with larger individuals suffering from severe sleep apnea, which can be unbearable. Those individuals can sound like they are felling an entire forest when they fall asleep.
For those grappling with a snoring partner, it’s crucial to recognize that sleep deprivation is a serious concern. Research indicates that lack of sleep can impair cognitive function similar to alcohol intoxication. Additionally, chronic snoring may indicate insufficient oxygen intake, leading to fatigue and irritability. If snoring becomes a significant issue, consulting a sleep clinic is advisable. Ask your healthcare provider if this could be relevant for you or someone you care about. If your partner is resistant to seeking professional help, there are numerous over-the-counter remedies available that can be discreetly placed on their nightstand. Positive reinforcement, such as a little extra affection, can encourage them to use these devices!
It’s worth noting that my husband insists I snore too, but I find that hard to believe—I’ve never heard it.
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In summary, while snoring can be a humorous topic between couples, it often leads to serious sleep disruptions. Exploring solutions such as earplugs or separate sleeping arrangements can help restore much-needed rest.