After just one year, my son made the decision to forgo a nearly full college scholarship. He currently has no other baseball offers on the table, no enticing job prospects, and he isn’t looking for a gap-year adventure. His only plan is to finish his degree in his home state of California, and beyond that, his future is uncertain. The only certainty is that he was unhappy where he was.
The initial thrill of watching my firstborn receive a baseball and academic scholarship to a Division II university clouded any doubts I had about sending him to South Dakota. The pride I felt as he stood onstage during the NCAA signing day ceremony, where local high school seniors committed to colleges nationwide, was immeasurable.
In an instant, all the years of his commitment flashed before my eyes: rigorous AP classes, countless hours of practice, and every dollar spent on lessons, uniforms, and equipment. The family road trips to baseball tournaments had culminated in this moment of triumph.
Before he accepted the scholarship, we traveled to South Dakota to tour the university. Even a blizzard on arrival didn’t deter his enthusiasm; he eagerly anticipated the new experiences ahead. However, the reality proved far less favorable for a boy who had grown up in the warmth of Southern California, enjoying the beach and mountains that South Dakota lacked. So, when he expressed his desire to return home after just one semester, I was taken aback.
While part of me longed for him to be closer, I grappled with feelings of inadequacy as a parent. Had I raised a quitter? Did he not value this incredible opportunity? Had I somehow taught him to run away when faced with difficulty?
Yet, by the end of his freshman year, his excitement to return home—driving 1,700 miles in less than two days—gave me a new perspective.
1. He’s Not a Quitter
My son had endured his first semester quietly, rarely voicing his discomfort with the climate or the local lifestyle. He pushed through demanding workouts and practices, maintaining his focus on securing a starting spot at third base. When he finally achieved that goal, it became clear that the baseball program was not a good fit for him. His passion for the sport was diminishing, which was a significant factor in his decision to leave.
2. He’s a Problem Solver
Rather than simply complaining about his situation, my son approached me with a well-researched plan that included potential universities, majors, tuition costs, and baseball programs in California. This demonstrated his maturity and ability to navigate challenges effectively.
3. Learning from Choices
I shared my parental insights, urging him to consider the ramifications of his decision. I reminded him that starting as a freshman was a remarkable achievement, and that he might not have the same opportunity elsewhere. Ultimately, my role as a parent is to guide him while allowing him to make his own choices, knowing he has the resilience to rebound from any setbacks.
4. His Happiness Matters
After weighing all options, my son decided to leave, and when he expressed his relief and newfound happiness, it resonated deeply with me. He shared how, for the first time, he felt liberated from the pressure of a commitment he had come to dread. This reminded me of my own moments of feeling trapped, and I didn’t want my son to experience that at such a young age.
5. His Achievements Remain
The scholarship represented a significant milestone for our family, and it took time for me to realize that my disappointment stemmed from unfulfilled expectations, not from my son or my parenting. The pride I felt during his signing ceremony is something I will always cherish, regardless of his decision to leave.
In the end, my son made a choice that felt right for him. Given NCAA restrictions, he joined a junior college baseball roster in Southern California, a known stepping stone for further opportunities. With a supportive coach already secured for him at third base, we remain hopeful about his future. As he embarks on this new chapter, I will continue to cheer him on.
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In summary, my son’s journey has taught me valuable lessons about resilience, decision-making, and the importance of personal happiness. While the path ahead may be uncertain, he is well-equipped to navigate whatever comes next.