Every July, my children eagerly tune into the Discovery Channel’s “Shark Week,” often hiding the remotes to ensure a week-long viewing marathon. Yes, multiple remotes. Why modern TVs require more than one remote is beyond me, but they do—and both always seem to vanish. This is Megalodon’s time to shine, and my kids refuse to let their parents interrupt their shark-filled excitement, even if we’d prefer to indulge in some adult-themed entertainment on streaming platforms during those hot summer nights.
You may be curious why my partner and I don’t simply escape to another room or don headphones to work on our laptops. The truth is, our kids insist on our presence, transforming this shark frenzy into a family bonding experience. They dismiss any skepticism regarding the often exaggerated and pseudo-scientific narratives about the ocean’s depths because, after all, it’s about the thrill of watching charismatic marine biologists—who are, of course, pretending to unravel the mysteries of the bloodied sea.
What my children don’t realize is that their parents are still navigating the psychological aftermath of our own childhood fears, particularly stemming from the iconic film Jaws. Whether you caught it in theaters upon its 1975 release, watched it on HBO, or experienced it during summer drive-in screenings, it likely left a lasting impression. Do you recall the panic around that time, with headlines warning against swimming in rivers, pools, or even taking baths? It took us decades to feel comfortable in the water again—now our kids are demanding full immersion during “Shark Week.” Thankfully, the frenzy ended just in time for our family beach trip (which we haven’t taken in three years). As we head to the shore, with my partner excited to surf, I recognize I’ll need some strategies to cope with this renewed anxiety.
Here’s how I plan to navigate the beach, drawing inspiration from Jaws:
- Channel the Mayor of Amity Island: Embrace denial! I certainly don’t want to dampen our summer vacation, especially since we’ve traveled 250 miles for this experience and are contributing to the local economy through our accommodations. I’ll take a page from Mayor Vaughn’s playbook, smiling widely and urging everyone to join me in the water. “It’s perfectly safe! Come on in!”
- Adopt a Scientific Mindset: Denial works well when standing in shallow water, but as the waves rise, it may be time to emulate Hooper’s curious detachment. When something brushes against my leg, I might initially ponder, “What was that?” However, I anticipate that this thought process will last mere seconds before I’m scrambling back to shore.
- Find Solace in Refreshments: Like Quint, I may turn to a drink or two for a sense of calm. A few glasses of wine or beers could make me feel adventurous enough to sing “Show Me the Way to Go Home” or even consider a midnight swim—if not for the Jaws theme echoing in my mind.
- Stay Afloat: If I’m on a floatation device, I’ll feel much safer. Perhaps I’ll opt for jet skiing or evening boat rides instead of swimming, trying to forget about the fearsome shark that devoured Quint in the film.
- Emulate Chief Brody: Should all else fail, I’ll take a cue from Brody. Though he was frightened, he still took action. If I can’t shake off thoughts of “Shark Week,” I might arm myself with a harpoon and some gear—just in case.
As we prepare for our trip to Cape Cod—where reports indicate Great Whites have recently been spotted off Chatham’s coast—I can only hope we’re adequately prepared. Thanks to my kids, it seems we might need a bigger boat.
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In summary, navigating a beach vacation after an intense “Shark Week” can be daunting, but with a mix of denial, scientific curiosity, and a healthy dose of humor, you can ensure a memorable trip.