Have you ever found yourself judging the parenting choices of others? If so, you’re not alone. Welcome to an opportunity for growth and understanding in your parenting journey.
I once shared this mindset, believing I held the ultimate secrets to parenting. I would dispense advice freely, much like handing out candy on Halloween. But here’s the catch: Trick-or-Treaters ask for candy, while my unsolicited advice was rarely requested. This tendency is what defines a Sanctimommy. The first step to evolving into a more compassionate and relatable individual is to refrain from sharing your opinions unless solicited.
Admittedly, this can be challenging. You might feel confident that you have mastered the art of parenting, and you may think you’re helping others by sharing your insights. However, parenting is not a one-size-fits-all situation. Each child is unique with their own needs and preferences. The strategies that work for your child might not be effective for another.
Embracing Uniqueness
Do we really need to revisit the notion that everyone is unique? Yes? Alright, here it is: each person is like a snowflake—distinct and special in their own way. The way you nurture your child may not suit mine, and that’s perfectly okay. The moment you understand that your approach isn’t the sole “correct” method for everyone else is the moment you can shed the Sanctimommy persona and embrace the reality of being just a mom—a mom who is imperfect but striving to do her best.
The birth of my second child was my awakening. He was entirely different from my first, which made me realize that there isn’t a universal parenting formula. I still hold strong opinions on parenting, but I’ve learned to keep them to myself, especially when it comes to sharing them with strangers online.
A Gentle Reminder
Consider this a gentle reminder: keep your advice to yourself unless someone specifically asks for it. Live your life with your family, and perhaps consider writing down your experiences in a memoir or parenting guide for future generations. They might appreciate your insights someday; however, in the meantime, remember that unsolicited advice is often unwelcome.
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In summary, the journey from Sanctimommy to a more empathetic parent involves recognizing that every child is different and that unsolicited advice can do more harm than good. Embrace your uniqueness as a parent, and remember to respect the diverse choices of others.