As a mother navigating the challenges of parenthood for over seven years, I have engaged in numerous actions that I wouldn’t necessarily consider commendable. For instance, there was the incident when my son spilled his cereal all over the floor during his sister’s soccer practice. Rather than clean up the mess, I discreetly stepped aside, allowing him to munch on the scattered pieces, hoping no one would associate me with the chaos. On another occasion, I persuaded my toddler to pretend to be a stylist, which granted me a much-needed nap while she brushed my hair—an indulgence I had not experienced in years. Then there was that disastrous attempt at being a creative mom, allowing my children to paint on the porch, only to find that they had transformed our siding into their canvas.
However, there are certain behaviors that I have consciously avoided as a mom. For example, I have never:
- Ignored my baby’s cries in the morning while I stayed cozily in bed.
- Locked myself in the bathroom with the fan on to block out the sound of my children arguing.
- Witnessed one child trying to poke her sibling’s eyes out and done nothing to intervene.
- Forgotten to arrange for someone to pick up my kids from their caregivers.
- Attempted to multitask by holding both kids while using the restroom.
- Denied the kids ice cream before dinner, only to secretly indulge while they weren’t looking.
- Grieved over the changes to my body post-pregnancy.
- Held a newborn and thought, “I’m glad that’s not me.”
- Allowed my kids to run around in their underwear simply because I lacked the energy to dress them.
- Came home after work and felt a strange relief at having missed the day’s meltdowns.
- Watched my child pick out only the sugary bits of their cereal and felt indifferent.
- Woken up and thought, “I just can’t do this today,” while hiding under the covers.
- Endured a long bathroom visit with my toddler while daydreaming of a life not spent constantly cleaning up messes.
- Faced a scenario where all my kids cried simultaneously and simply turned away, feeling helpless.
- Forced a smile when my exhaustion made me want to retreat to bed.
- Scrolled through blogs of seemingly perfect mothers while feeling inadequate and lamenting my lack of social gatherings.
- Questioned whether balancing work and parenting was indeed feasible.
- Felt overwhelmed with guilt when my partner reassured me that I was doing my best.
- Reached the end of the day feeling so touched-out that I flinched when my partner reached out for affection.
- Increased the volume of the car radio to drown out the sounds of sibling rivalry in the backseat.
- Experienced feelings of irritation without a clear cause.
- Longed for the idyllic life depicted in fictional towns like Stars Hollow, complete with endless coffee refills.
- Wondered if, when my children reach their teenage years, my lack of knowledge about parenting would be exposed.
If you find that you haven’t engaged in any of these behaviors either, then congratulations—neither have I!
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Summary
In the journey of motherhood, there are moments of pride and times of regret. While each mother may have her unique challenges, acknowledging our less-than-perfect moments can be a source of solidarity. Understanding that we all have our struggles can empower us to embrace the experience of parenting, however messy it may be.