When we think of adult children returning to their family home, the term “boomerang kid” often comes to mind, defined by Merriam-Webster as a young adult who returns home primarily for financial reasons. But what if these children never truly leave? This could be categorized as a “failure to launch,” highlighting their struggle to achieve independence. As noted by researcher Laura Bennett in her analysis on the challenges faced by young adults today, many from Generation Y—those born in the 1990s—are delaying traditional milestones such as completing education, moving out, achieving financial independence, marrying, and starting families. Perhaps we need a new term for those who choose to remain at home while pursuing higher education: “Nesters.”
My partner and I faced significant challenges during our college years, especially since we became parents early on. Balancing family responsibilities with educational expenses was no small feat, resulting in burdensome student loans that still linger as we work in education. With this in mind, we aimed to provide a different experience for our children. When our kids were just 5 and 2 years old, we invested in a college savings plan that would cover their tuition for four years. This decision has proven invaluable, as our now 24- and 21-year-old children can focus on their studies without the anxiety of accumulating debt.
Despite their age, our children continue to live at home, and I often find myself explaining our choice to others. Here are the reasons why we made this decision:
- Mutual Agreement: We’ve established a clear understanding with our adult children. They are welcome to live with us as long as they are progressing in their studies. We cover their essential needs—housing, food, insurance, and phone bills—while they manage their personal expenses such as clothing and entertainment. Although there have been occasional setbacks, our foundational agreement remains intact. According to a survey by Life Insurance Group, a significant percentage of young adults report feeling overwhelmed by the current economic climate. By supporting our children, we hope to alleviate some of this stress, allowing them to focus solely on their education.
- Cultural Norms: In various collectivist cultures, such as those found among American Indian, Asian, Hispanic, African, and Middle Eastern communities, multigenerational living arrangements are common. Families often rely on close-knit relationships that support one another. While our household consists of only two generations, we maintain strong ties with our own parents, who live nearby and actively participate in family gatherings. This familial closeness fosters a supportive environment, which strengthens our family unit.
- Economic Realities: The financial aspect of living independently can be daunting. A college student working part-time at minimum wage may earn approximately $1,080 monthly, but the cost of living—rent, utilities, food—can quickly consume those earnings. The alternatives to staying at home often involve taking on debt or sacrificing educational opportunities, which contradicts our goal of supporting their academic pursuits.
- Desire for Their Success: We genuinely want our children to have every opportunity we did not. By enabling them to graduate without debt, we believe we are setting them up for a brighter future. Current economic forecasts suggest that many in their generation could be worse off than their parents, making our support all the more critical during this challenging time.
Some may argue that allowing our children to remain at home stifles their independence. I would counter that both of our children are self-sufficient adults who simply choose to share our home. They have their own space, complete with separate living areas, and enjoy a level of autonomy that resembles living independently. While this arrangement may not suit everyone, it works for our family.
In conclusion, the decision to allow adult children to reside at home can be multifaceted, rooted in financial realities, cultural norms, and a desire for their future success. For additional insights on supporting fertility and family planning, check out this excellent resource on intrauterine insemination here or explore fertility boosters here.
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