As I approach my 40s, I can’t help but reflect on how the music from my youth shapes my parenting journey. Recently, I was called “Ma’am” by a cashier, a gentle reminder that my youth is behind me. I crossed the threshold of 40 without much ceremony, and while I don’t feel particularly wise or old, I do embrace the changes—like sporting tiny braids in my hair and leaving behind the sparkly eyeshadow of yesteryear.
Looking back at photographs from my earlier years, I feel a wave of nostalgia. I recall the innocence of my first crush, making out with a boy while Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” played softly in the background, convinced we were destined to be together. I chuckle at the misguided sense of coolness I had while working as a carpenter, cigarette in hand and ashing into a Mountain Dew bottle. And those perms! It’s amusing to think of the fashion choices I made, like that infamous acid-wash jean jacket that I now wish I could erase from existence.
Despite my cringe-worthy moments, I treasure the memories of falling for the wrong people and the hours spent next to my boom box, replaying tunes that defined my adolescence. Those experiences were lived without the hindsight I now possess. As I guide my daughters through their own adolescent challenges, I intend to help them navigate their own missteps without judgment. I hope they experiment with styles and even crush on the wrong individuals, but I do hope they steer clear of smoking—after all, maternal empathy has its limits.
As we transition into the turbulent tween years, I plan to lean on these seven songs for comfort and inspiration, especially when I’m uncertain about how to approach parenting.
1. “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” by Cyndi Lauper
A reminder that amidst the emotional rollercoaster of life, we all just want to enjoy ourselves.
2. “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” by Simple Minds
This classic echoes the importance of connection, no matter what challenges we face.
3. “Mr. Jones” by Counting Crows
A reflection on the universal desire for acceptance and belonging, reminding us that we’re all searching for our place in the world.
4. “Torn” by Natalie Imbruglia
A poignant reminder that heartbreak, while painful, is a significant part of life’s journey.
5. “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt
This anthem for emotional honesty encourages my daughters to express their feelings freely, without fear of judgment.
6. “Right Here, Right Now” by Jesus Jones
A call to embrace the present moment, reminding me to focus on today rather than get lost in the past or future.
7. “Thinking Out Loud” by Ed Sheeran
I sometimes wonder if the songs that resonate with my daughters today will hold the same significance when they become parents. Will they find comfort in empowering anthems like Katy Perry’s “Roar”? I guess time will tell.
These melodies are more than just tunes; they are touchstones that help me connect with my daughters, guiding them through their own trials while also reminding me of my own experiences.
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In summary, music has the power to evoke memories and emotions, serving as a guide in our parenting journeys. By leaning into the songs that shaped our past, we can foster connection and understanding with the next generation.