When it comes to nurturing some of the happiest children globally, the Netherlands stands out. Here are some key insights into their parenting practices.
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Family Comes First
Dutch families prioritize quality time together. Dinners often occur at 6 p.m., allowing families to connect over a meal. Many fathers utilize “papa dag” (daddy day), a legally recognized unpaid day off to care for their children. In contrast to other countries, like the United States, where fathers may be less visible during school pickups, Dutch schools often see nearly equal participation from fathers. With both parents often working part-time, the pressure to juggle work and family life is significantly reduced, leading to a more relaxed home environment. -
A Laid-Back Approach
In Dutch culture, there is minimal helicopter parenting. Parents view their children as individuals rather than extensions of themselves and do not overly stress about academic achievements. They maintain realistic expectations of their children’s abilities and foster a culture that does not equate school performance with self-worth. Children are encouraged to explore their surroundings freely. In many neighborhoods, it’s common to see kids playing outside, and parents often implement creative solutions, like using a string to allow children to enter their homes independently. The absence of homework for children under 10 also allows plenty of time for outdoor play. -
Cycling Freedom
The Dutch have a strong biking culture, supported by extensive bike paths and a community that looks out for cyclists. From around age 10, children gain the independence to bike to school, visit friends, or participate in sports, fostering confidence and encouraging physical activity. This sense of autonomy undoubtedly contributes to their overall happiness. -
Valuing Children’s Opinions
When I moved to the Netherlands, I initially took charge of playdate arrangements. However, I soon realized that Dutch parents often consult their children first about their preferences. This practice not only empowers kids but also instills a sense of self-worth. The result is a generation of confident teenagers who feel respected and heard, not merely expressing teenage bravado. -
Delicious Breakfasts
After living in the Netherlands for six years, my children have adopted many Dutch customs, especially when it comes to breakfast. While I might serve cereal and fruit, Dutch children enjoy a traditional breakfast of “hagelslag”—chocolate sprinkles on buttered bread. This simple pleasure is a delightful start to the day, contributing to their cheerful disposition.
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In summary, the happiness of Dutch children can be attributed to strong family bonds, a relaxed parenting style, the freedom to explore, valuing children’s voices, and simple, joyful traditions like breakfast. These practices offer valuable lessons for parents everywhere.