“Uncle Tom thinks we can’t watch The Perfect Pitch 2, but honestly, it’s not that bad, so I’m texting you anyway. Can we go, right? I mean, it’s The Perfect Pitch 2.”
With a deep sigh, I planted my feet firmly by the fence. The movie could wait. After my husband navigated through the transition, I dashed through the trees to see him drench himself with water before diving onto the running course.
The oppressive heat and humidity that day were stifling, even for a spectator. I found a shaded spot to sit and pulled out my phone. “I’m 99 percent sure you can see the movie once I’m back,” I texted my daughter. “But can we avoid a conflict while I’m away? I don’t want to assert my authority and create tension. Does that make sense?”
I braced myself for resistance, preparing for an argument I lacked the energy to engage in. Within moments, as I walked toward a cool restaurant, she replied, “OK, that’s fine.” I reread the message, just to ensure I wasn’t imagining it.
Once inside the cool air of the restaurant, I was struck by the remarkable clarity and calm that surrounded how this situation had unfolded. There were no accusations, no backtalk, no threats, and no lengthy justifications—just clear communication and mutual understanding.
This wasn’t my first experience of parenting more effectively through text. When my kids pester me for a privilege—like a last-minute change of plans or new clothes from across the mall—a firm “No” via text, perhaps with a brief explanation, allows me to bypass the inevitable arguing and manipulation that often leads to my frustration. The silence that follows my message gives me the opportunity to maintain that same calm when we meet again, choosing not to revisit the topic.
At its core, the inherent delay in texting is what makes it valuable for me; it acts as a filter. By the time I finish crafting a message, I’ve already considered whether it truly reflects what I wish to convey. This “parent time-out” is essential when I can take it, and texting creates that opportunity consistently.
There’s a reason I’ve gravitated toward writing; I require time to contemplate what I’m going to say, revising and refining my words. I’m the person who rewrites a social media post multiple times before sharing it or opting to delete it entirely. I struggle to think on my feet, which is why I previously worked as a lawyer.
In law school, I envisioned attorneys having scripts, akin to theater performances, or at least a set of rules to guide their actions. However, I learned that law is unpredictable—every case varies, and there’s no definitive manual to ensure success.
Regrettably, my children also didn’t come with instruction manuals. There’s no magical guide to decipher their tears or understand their needs.
In just a few weeks, they will both become teenagers, and I still don’t possess any guidebooks on how to communicate effectively. I have yet to discover a magic pause button to help me refrain from blurting out things I may later regret.
Except when I’m texting; that’s when I have access to a magical time-out feature at my fingertips. While it’s not a comprehensive solution, as they become more independent and spend increasing time away from home—and me—texting could prove even more beneficial.
Perhaps when we are together in person, I can hold my phone while conversing with them to remind myself to pause and think before responding. For more insights into parenting and home insemination strategies, consider visiting this resource. You can also explore this authority on the topic of home insemination. For an excellent resource on pregnancy and related topics, the CDC website is highly recommended.
In summary, texting can provide a valuable tool for effective parenting, allowing for thoughtful communication and reducing the chances of conflict. As our children grow more independent, this method may become increasingly useful for maintaining a positive relationship.