Co-sleeping is a topic that often elicits strong opinions. While some parents embrace the practice, I find it doesn’t suit my family’s needs—here’s why.
I co-slept with both of my children until they reached about three months old, primarily because it made breastfeeding easier. I could comfortably nurse without leaving bed or needing to get dressed. However, as soon as I was ready to reclaim my personal space, we transitioned our children to their own cribs. Surprisingly, this shift was smooth, and soon everyone was sleeping better.
Now that my toddler is three, she has her own queen-sized bed. My partner and I often join her for storytime or to soothe her after a bad dream, but we do so on our terms. Once she falls asleep, we retreat to our own room, which feels essential for our well-being.
Key Considerations Regarding Co-Sleeping
Space: As a parent working from home, I spend my days surrounded by children. Sometimes, I crave a space where I can relax without anyone touching me. A brief reprieve from the constant physical contact is vital for my mental health.
Safety: While co-sleeping can be safe when done correctly, it presents challenges as babies grow. Once they become mobile, they can accidentally disrupt your sleep—imagine waking up to a tiny fist in your face or a foot in your side.
Intimacy: For my partner and me, co-sleeping complicates intimacy. Parents often claim to find “creative” ways to reconnect, but with kids always nearby, those moments are rare. We cherish our time alone, usually behind closed doors when the kids are asleep.
Sanctuary: My bed is the one space in our home that’s entirely mine. It’s where I can read, write, and enjoy quiet. Unlike the rest of the house, which is shared with kids and chaos, my bed offers solitude without guilt.
Sleep Quality: I have limited time for sleep, so the quality must be high. Constant interruptions from little ones can make it difficult to feel rested. The anxiety of waking up to strange noises or checking for unexpected messes adds to the challenge.
Ultimately, I respect the choices of families who co-sleep; however, I believe it’s worth considering alternatives, such as providing your child with a larger bed. Sharing a bed can require sacrifices that might not be necessary.
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In summary, while co-sleeping can work for some families, it may not be the best choice for everyone. Finding the right balance between intimacy, personal space, and quality sleep is crucial for parental well-being.