When your father informed me that your brother had Down syndrome, time momentarily stood still. I dropped the phone and sank to the floor, overwhelmed by disbelief. The initial thoughts racing through my mind were, “This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening.” Following that was a deep concern for you: “Oh no, poor Emma, poor Emma.” You were my main focus during those early days.
For 16 months, you were everything to me. I truly cherished our moments together—even the challenging teething nights! I made an effort to savor the little things: your laughter, our games of peek-a-boo, and the countless readings of your favorite books. However, upon learning about your brother’s diagnosis, my mind shifted from the present to worrying about your future.
Rather than celebrating your first words, I found myself preoccupied with thoughts of middle school. Would you face ridicule because of your brother’s differences? Would I become so consumed by his unique needs that I would overlook your own? I became fixated on the unfairness of it all, neglecting to appreciate the positive impact his diagnosis could have on you.
What I didn’t realize was that a significant majority of children with siblings who have Down syndrome report feelings of pride and growth. In fact, studies indicate that around 97% of these children feel a sense of pride for their sibling, and 88% believe that their sibling has made them better individuals. This is my deepest hope for you, Emma.
When you witness your brother striving to achieve milestones that come easily to you, I hope you cultivate humility. I pray that when you are tempted to judge others based on their appearances, you will think of your brother’s experiences and the judgments he may face. When life’s little frustrations arise, I hope you instead choose gratitude for the many blessings in your life.
I envision you both learning to appreciate the beauty in life’s small moments and living with a sense of gratitude. You will teach each other the essence of love.
While you may mature more quickly than your peers, I believe this is a gift. Your brother’s presence may help you avoid some of the superficial concerns that often accompany youth. I hope you embrace life with courage and make the most of your unique talents. His existence may open your eyes to a broader world, filled with diverse needs beyond your immediate surroundings.
So, I’m not regretful about your brother’s diagnosis. I no longer see it as unfair. In fact, I believe you are at an advantage because of it. The true measure of life is not popularity, the latest car, or physical beauty. What truly counts is the ability to love everyone, regardless of their differences. For further insights into building meaningful connections, you might find this resource helpful.
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In summary, your brother’s Down syndrome is not a burden but a unique opportunity for both of you to grow and learn from each other. Embrace this journey with love and compassion.
Love,
Mom