As a child, my Sundays were often spent in church, accompanied by midweek meetings that felt obligatory. My mother, a second-generation member of a faith that prioritizes spiritual healing over medical intervention, raised us without conventional healthcare. I distinctly recall praying to improve my eyesight so I could avoid glasses—an effort that bore no fruit. My siblings and I relied on faith to navigate illnesses like measles and chickenpox, having never received vaccinations. This changed only when I reached adulthood. A notable incident that lingers in my memory involves being ejected from a convertible on the last day of ninth grade while heading to a school picnic. I woke up the next morning in an ICU, immobile and alone, with the sobering thought: Thank goodness my mother was away at a church convention, or my situation might have been even graver.
In contrast, my husband experienced a very different form of religious upbringing. He attended Bible camp where, at the tender age of nine, children were posed with harrowing questions about their faith and mortality. Unsurprisingly, our two children have never stepped foot in a church. We don’t take them, and they don’t express a desire to go. However, this does not mean they lack faith or a sense of morality. They believe in something greater, just on their own terms. Our household is devoid of any fire-and-brimstone rhetoric.
Our belief system is structured but distinct. We place a premium on kindness and compassion, teaching our children these traits as foundational values. They’ve learned to respect their elders and to practice good manners, especially when interacting with adults. We emphasize the importance of hard work and honesty—there is no tolerance for deception, as it undermines even the most impressive of achievements. Accountability is crucial; they know not to speak to each other disrespectfully and understand the significance of sincere apologies. They are taught to treat others as they wish to be treated. Daily, we remind them of their privileges and the reality that the world can be unjust, particularly for girls. They appreciate their access to quality education, a stable home, and plentiful meals each night. Gratitude is a vital lesson we strive to instill, encouraging them to look beyond their immediate experiences.
When our children inquire about the nature of God, our response is simple: “He is Love, with a capital ‘L.’” We describe God as a loving force that unites us all. When they question His visibility, we encourage them to reflect on the love they feel and recognize, even if it isn’t physically seen. We suggest they meditate quietly to seek this love when in need, envisioning God as an eternal friend ready to listen and guide them. They are encouraged to remain open to the answers they seek and to recognize their role in contributing positively to the world.
We strive to create a loving, supportive environment at home. Our family is close-knit, and we are always there for one another.
Like many modern parents, we are moving away from traditional religious practices for our children. This shift might stem from friendships with LGBTQ+ individuals who have faced condemnation from religious communities, or perhaps it’s due to the inconsistencies found in various religious texts that challenge logic. Some individuals may never feel a connection to God within the confines of a structured institution. They might discover God elsewhere and interpret the divine in their own unique ways.
As I matured, I realized I didn’t need to adhere strictly to dogma; I could explore my spirituality without feeling confined to a binary belief system. Our children are not confused by this approach, nor will they struggle with perceived hypocrisies as they grow older. They are bound to have questions, but I am confident in my ability to engage with them honestly. I share my beliefs and uncertainties openly, especially regarding profound questions like the purpose of our existence. I find comfort in not having all the answers and trust that their internal moral compasses will guide them well, as we have helped shape their values. I believe they are capable individuals, and I trust that they are in good standing with a benevolent God.
For further reading on related topics, check out this article that provides insight into the complexities of faith in modern parenting, as well as this resource for information on intrauterine insemination. Additionally, CryoBaby offers authoritative information about home insemination kits.
In summary, the values we instill in our children revolve around kindness, compassion, and a deep understanding of the world around them. We encourage them to form their own beliefs while emphasizing the importance of love and responsibility.