Dear Stay-at-Home Mom,
Greetings! I am a working mother, and I believe that at our core, we share more similarities than differences. Unfortunately, the online narrative often seems to pit us against each other, fostering a sense of competition over who has it tougher or who is exerting more effort.
In my view, motherhood is a collaborative venture. We need to support one another, and in order to foster the community we all desire, it’s essential for us to understand each other better.
Here are five key insights I want to share with you, as a working mom:
- I Recognize Your Hard Work: I am fully aware that you are not merely relaxing at home. I understand that your role is demanding. Having my child at home with me on weekends is exhausting, even with my spouse’s assistance. I truly admire your ability to manage every aspect of care for your young children while also handling the household responsibilities. It’s no small feat.
- Work Is Not a Break for Me: My job involves navigating the expectations of bosses, clients, and deadlines, which keeps me constantly engaged. I often skip lunch breaks to stay ahead on projects, all while worrying about receiving “The Call” from daycare, notifying me that my child is unwell. This drives me to work diligently and forego breaks so that when that call comes, I can respond immediately.
- I Long for Connection: I genuinely need friendships, and I see the wonderful connections you’re forming with other mothers through playgroups and activities. I often feel envious of those bonds, as they can be challenging to cultivate while balancing work commitments. So, when you see me at the park in professional attire, please don’t judge. Remember, I’m there to enjoy precious moments with my child, just like you are.
- I Am a Full-Time Mom: I assure you that I am actively involved in raising my child. I do not delegate my responsibilities as a mother, contrary to some assumptions. I stay in touch with my child’s school and healthcare providers, arranging activities whenever I find a free moment. My experience as a mother is simply adapted to my family’s needs, including my role in financially supporting us.
- My Career Choice Is Not a Neglect of Motherhood: This notion is particularly hurtful, especially since I don’t see similar accusations directed at fathers. I work because my family relies on my financial support, and I also have a passion for my profession. Furthermore, I advocate for a workplace that supports women, pushing for improvements in maternity leave, equal pay, and better resources for families. I want a brighter future for my daughter as she enters the workforce, and I aspire for the same for your daughter as well.
Stay-at-Home Mom, let’s unite instead of focusing on our differences. There are ample ways we can complement each other in our parenting journeys. Let’s collaborate for the sake of our daughters, giving them more choices in balancing work and family life. Let’s also support our sons, so they can feel empowered by their employers when they need to take time off for family obligations.
Together, we can form a strong team. I promise to bring delicious snacks! And I know you have insights to share as well—I’m eager to listen.
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Summary
This letter expresses solidarity between working mothers and stay-at-home moms, emphasizing shared experiences, mutual support, and the importance of collaboration in parenting. It encourages both groups to recognize their unique challenges and work together for the benefit of their children.