I refer to my partner as “Daddy,” but not in the way you might imagine. When we’re alone after the children have gone to bed, he hears his real name. During the day, however, it’s all about, “Daddy, did you check the weather?” “Daddy, what movie do you want tonight?” and “Daddy, I accidentally burned dinner. Are we having pizza again?”
This practice began with our first child. We wanted our little one to call us “Mommy” and “Daddy,” so we naturally started using those titles for each other. Now, our children use these names constantly—even at the most inconvenient times, like when we’re trying to sleep or use the bathroom.
Despite the potential for annoyance, I appreciate our habit of calling each other “Mommy” and “Daddy,” especially the latter. When women become mothers, our identities are often intertwined with parenthood, regardless of our professional achievements. This is less frequently the case for men. In my experience interviewing leaders for various publications, women often mention their roles as mothers spontaneously, while men seldom do unless prompted.
This discrepancy likely stems from the fact that many women juggle their careers with parenting, keeping their children at the forefront of their minds as they discuss their professional journeys. Conversely, many men, particularly older generations, tend to rely more on their partners for parenting responsibilities.
However, with the increasing number of stay-at-home dads, fathers advocating for paternity leave, and a greater emphasis on active fatherhood, the narrative is shifting. Men are beginning to embrace their roles as fathers rather than allowing that aspect of their identity to fade into the background.
I know my partner values his role as a father, even though our family dynamic resembles the traditional 1950s model, where I tend to handle the bulk of the parenting responsibilities. He contributes significantly by reading stories, playing games, preparing meals on weekends, bathing our children, driving them to activities, and, most importantly, nurturing them.
When I call him “Daddy,” it serves as a reminder that fatherhood is a significant part of his identity today. This acknowledgment is not only important for him but also enriches our family’s dynamic.
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Conclusion
In summary, using titles like “Daddy” reinforces the importance of fatherhood in our family and highlights the evolving roles in parenting. This simple act embodies a profound shift in how we recognize and celebrate the identities of parents today.