For those unfamiliar with the heartland, here are 14 insights that resonate with those of us from the Midwest:
- Cow Tipping Is Overrated: While it’s a popular myth, the reality is that cow tipping is far less common than outsiders believe. Sure, we all know someone like “Tom,” who claims to have tipped a cow, but it’s more of a legendary tale than a frequent occurrence.
- Mastering the Burn Barrel: Flat landscapes dominate the Midwest, but if you’re in a hilly area, you know how to prepare for winter fun with sledding, as well as how to start and maintain a burn barrel fire. You’ve also likely said, “Don’t stand too close, you’ll get burned,” or “Just put some butter on it, you’ll be fine.”
- The Best Catholic Festivals: Our local Catholic church festivals are unparalleled. They feature delicious roasted sweet corn smothered in butter, thrilling rides, and games that guarantee a homemade cake win. No generic bundt cakes here!
- Driving in Winter Conditions: If you see drivers struggling on icy roads, they’re likely newcomers to the Midwest. We’ve honed our skills at navigating through snow and ice.
- Cornhole is a Mixed Bag: Contrary to popular belief, not all Midwesterners are enthusiastic about cornhole. Some find tossing bags at a board tiresome, but we’ve all participated at least once.
- High School Connections Matter: When meeting someone new, the topic of which high school you attended comes up quickly—it’s a Midwestern social norm, and we’re not even discussing college.
- Weather Commentary is Standard: Every third person will remark, “Don’t like the weather? Just wait five minutes!” These are the same folks who will remind you of last winter’s chill in the summer heat and vice versa.
- Euchre is Serious Business: We take our euchre games very seriously. Even casual gatherings require a discussion of rules, and we know that any group of four with half a deck can find a way to play.
- Tractor Pull Enthusiasm: While we might poke fun at tractor pulls, the truth is, if there’s one nearby, we’ll likely check it out.
- Hospitality to All Kids: Any child who enters our home will be offered food, often multiple times. We also tend to dispense unsolicited advice to our kids’ friends without hesitation.
- The Tradition of Jell-O Molds: As Midwestern women reach 50, they often feel compelled to create Jell-O molds, following in the footsteps of previous generations.
- Beaches and Skiing: While we might not have oceans or towering mountains, we still enjoy our beaches and know how to hit the slopes.
- Pop and Friendliness: In the Midwest, we drink pop, and if you’re from Cincinnati, discussing a three-way is perfectly acceptable!
- Returning to Our Roots: Some of us may venture out to coastal areas, but there’s always a sense of belonging when we return to the Midwest.
For a deeper dive into home insemination topics, check out this other blog post. If you’re curious about at-home options, Cryobaby offers reliable kits, and for comprehensive information, refer to this Wikipedia article about artificial insemination.
Summary
This article highlights the unique experiences and cultural nuances shared by those who grew up in the Midwest, showcasing everything from local traditions to weather quirks. Whether through food, festivities, or social interactions, these insights paint a vivid picture of Midwestern life.