Recently, someone asked me if I faced judgment from other mothers for being a bit unconventional and if this made me anxious about how they perceived my child. My response? Absolutely. I’ve encountered this judgment far too many times to count.
If there are any strict critics reading this, I can already imagine their thoughts. After all, I just used the word “absolutely,” which may not align with their standards of respectable conversation.
But honestly, I never ponder the question: “What will others think?” Why? Because it simply doesn’t bother me.
Yes, I just used that term. It perfectly illustrates how little I care about the opinions of those who think like that.
Finding My Confidence
Was I always this confident? Not at all. Like many, I went through phases of desperately trying to conform. Growing up, I attended a small private school where everyone felt like family, allowing me to truly be myself. However, transitioning to public school in sixth grade introduced a new environment where fitting in became a priority. I wanted to dress, speak, and act like everyone else.
That endeavor lasted about a day. When your mother insists on a perm that was “in style” among the cool kids, only for you to show up looking like a lunch lady’s child, blending in becomes quite difficult.
So, what’s the choice? You either become someone you’re not, or you embrace your uniqueness. Eventually, I found my tribe—other kids who also chose to be themselves, and together, we thrived.
The Shift in Motherhood
Fast forward, and years later, I became a mom. That’s when things shifted. As many mothers can attest, having your first baby can send you into a bit of a frenzy. I became fixated on being the ideal mother and ensuring my son grew into the perfect child. Motherhood can thrust you back into that insecure teenage mindset, where cliques form and acceptance seems vital.
Eager to fit in, I enrolled in all the Mommy and Me classes, striving to align with the “norm.” I followed trends in clothing, accessories, and even birthday parties—all in pursuit of acceptance into the “Motherhood Sisterhood.”
But the reality? It was exhausting. Not only was I drained from being a parent, but I was also weary from trying to conform.
A Turning Point
One turning point occurred when my son, around four years old, confronted another child in a McDonald’s play area. While sitting with a group of “popular” moms, my son returned to me crying after being hit. In an attempt to manage the situation, I encouraged him to address the other boy. After multiple encounters of hitting, I asked the other child’s mother to intervene, only to receive the dismissive response of “Boys will be boys.”
In that moment, I resolved to have my son stand up for himself. When I expressed this to the other mother, she claimed I had “problems.” I retorted that my son was kind and that she was the one with the issue—good luck with that.
From that day on, I realized that if I loved my son and taught him to be true to himself, I was fulfilling my role as a mother. I no longer needed validation from the “in” crowd. My husband and my son recognized my worth, and that was enough.
Embracing Authenticity
This realization liberated me from the rigid expectations of motherhood. I began to express my authentic self again. I’ve always been an independent thinker, and motherhood shouldn’t change that. Trying to conform was detrimental, not only to myself but also to my child. It was sending the message that to be accepted, you must suppress your individuality.
Finding your authentic self is far more rewarding than forcing yourself into a mold. You’ll attract those who appreciate you for who you truly are, rather than the facade you feel pressured to maintain.
Of course, some people won’t like me. Some may disapprove of my humor, my frankness, or my opinions on children. However, I embrace these traits, as they are part of my individuality.
The Key Takeaway
The key takeaway? As long as you remain true to yourself, external opinions don’t hold weight. It’s perfectly fine if some individuals don’t accept you. Those who can’t appreciate your authenticity are not worth your time. Surround yourself with those who value you for who you are, and always strive to be proud of the person you see in the mirror.
For further insights into home insemination, check out this informative piece on intracervical insemination. If you’re considering a journey in fertility, Make a Mom provides valuable resources. Additionally, for expectations around your first IUI, Parents has excellent guidance.
In summary, owning your uniqueness is essential. Embrace your individuality and teach your children to do the same.