During the last school break, I found myself at home, and on the very first day—Monday—I was taken by surprise when six children suddenly filled my living room, despite my having only two. After assessing the situation, I realized that I had one clear solution: bake cookies. So I did. And as the week unfolded, more kids continued to trickle in.
Growing up, my house was similar—though this phenomenon didn’t truly kick in until my teenage years. I was one of four siblings, and our home often served as the go-to hangout spot. This wasn’t due to a fully stocked kitchen or a particularly nurturing environment; rather, my mother was often preoccupied, balancing a full-time job, classes, and her social life. Yet, she was approachable during our teenage years, effortlessly managing the constant influx of friends who would either congregate in the basement with my older brother or gather around the living room for late-night card games—usually poker or euchre.
Like my childhood home, my current residence often resembles a chaotic haven. With four teenagers in the 1980s, tidiness was not a priority. I remember my mother coming home after a long day, visibly overwhelmed by the state of our home and lacking the energy to tidy up. Decades later, I found myself apologizing to her, having finally grasped the challenges of working all day only to return to a domestic mess.
While I’m not yet navigating the teenage years with my children, I do have two little ones whose belongings seem to be everywhere. Legos are perpetually underfoot, and I often wonder what it is about 7-year-old girls and their socks. The moment a friend visits, socks somehow become airborne. Each evening, we find ourselves searching for the TV remote, only to uncover an astonishing array of items hidden in the couch cushions.
However, our home is not just cluttered; it’s alive with children, and it took me a while to realize I was continuing a family legacy. My mother wisely welcomed so many teenagers into our home. Even during their rebellious phases, she always knew where we were: at home. She was well-acquainted with our friends, who often called her by her first name—something I have embraced—and they found her easy to talk to and relatable. She was refreshingly open-minded, discussing topics that most parents found taboo, which set her apart from parents of our friends who seemed more rigid.
Reflecting on those years, I recognize areas where I might take a different approach. My father, in his second experience with parenting, explained the fine line between allowing your own child certain freedoms, like a drink at 18, versus extending that leniency to others. Although I now understand the necessity of such boundaries, I appreciated my mother’s laid-back nature at the time. This permissiveness was a significant reason why our friends flocked to our home; there were minimal rules.
While underage drinking won’t be permitted in our house, we maintain a relaxed atmosphere. With kids running in and out of the house, filling water guns and reloading Nerf darts, the noise is constant. They call us by our first names, which we prefer, and frequently pop their heads in to say hi—something I take as a compliment rather than mere courtesy. One day, a friend of my son’s arrived unexpectedly. “Nathaniel’s not home right now, but he’ll be back in about 15 minutes,” I informed him. “Oh,” he replied, “Um…can I just hang out with you?” How could anyone refuse such a sweet request?
Our home has become the designated hangout spot, and while it can be exhausting and chaotic, there’s comfort in knowing where the kids are and who their friends are. I hope that when they reach their teenage years, they will still want to come around and spend time with us.
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Summary:
This article discusses the author’s experience as a parent who has created a welcoming home environment for children. It reflects on family traditions, the importance of an open household, and the joys and challenges of raising kids in a lively atmosphere. The author hopes that as their children grow into teens, they will continue to appreciate and utilize their home as a gathering place.