The thrill of excitement and the break from the mundane are things I cherish. However, the planning, chores, and unrealistic expectations can be overwhelming. This is why I felt a mix of joy and frustration when my eldest child, Ethan, proposed that we establish a new family tradition: Giving Day.
Ethan’s concept was straightforward. We would draw names for gift exchanges, engage in fun activities together, and then, as he put it, “carry on with our day as usual.” Initially taken aback and intrigued by his idea, I asked, “Where did this come from?” He simply replied, “I thought it would be fun.” His creativity and enthusiasm for generosity warmed my heart, but I was also concerned that Giving Day could morph into an event filled with unnecessary clutter or unmet expectations.
As someone striving for minimalism, I aspire to declutter my life; adding more possessions to our home was not appealing. Moreover, my partner and I are already managing a full plate, and I wasn’t keen on adding another obligation. Nevertheless, Ethan’s passion for his idea was contagious.
“What if we also give to those outside our family?” I suggested.
“Great idea!” he responded eagerly. “We could bake cookies for our neighbors or do something nice for others.”
After brainstorming ways to ensure Giving Day was focused on generosity beyond our immediate family, we also discussed the financial implications. I wanted Ethan to grasp that generosity doesn’t always have to come at a cost.
“Perhaps we could create our own gifts or just buy small ones?” Ethan proposed.
“Sounds good. And you both can use your own money?”
“I’ll use mine, but Tommy might need some assistance since he doesn’t have any,” he answered sensibly.
Ethan confidently marked “GIVING DAY” on the calendar for the next available weekend. A few days before the event, we drew names for gift exchanges and agreed to bake cookies for our neighbors afterward. We even discussed potential gift ideas, and the boys sought my help with the execution.
When the day arrived, despite my apprehensions, I felt hopeful and enthusiastic—an emotional state that often leads to high expectations and potential disappointment. After a relaxed morning, we exchanged gifts: Ethan gifted me a journal; I gave my partner a bag of spicy almonds; he presented Tommy with an Iron Man mask, and Tommy gifted Ethan a wind-up hopping eyeball he had found at a garage sale. I captured moments of joy with photos of everyone holding their gifts. But as anticipated, Giving Day soon lost its initial charm.
The day devolved into sibling rivalry, transforming into “I Want Yours Day,” which then escalated to “Yelling Day” and “Go to Your Room Day.” Despite the chaos, we managed to bake cookies for our neighbors, though they were delivered with complaints due to the pouring rain.
In many respects, that inaugural Giving Day, like most holidays, did not meet my expectations. There were more tears and quarrels than the selflessness I had hoped for. Yet, in other ways, it surpassed my expectations. The joy in the voice of our neighbor’s five-year-old daughter as she thanked us for the cookies was priceless. The boys decided to make handmade paper gifts for the next Giving Day. That night, I wrote in the journal that Ethan had thoughtfully chosen for me.
We recently celebrated our second Giving Day, which, similar to the first, did not unfold as planned. A broken water heater meant my partner had to stay home to await the plumber instead of joining us for a scheduled volunteer activity. Five-year-old Tommy cried when Ethan presented him with a drawing and “gift certificate” because it didn’t feature the Carolina Panthers, his favorite team at that moment. And, being five, he was prone to emotional outbursts.
Yet, despite the tears and unexpected changes, I eagerly anticipate the next Giving Day. In truth, like most family occasions, the chaos intertwines with the warmth until love, care, and affection shine through. Disappointments and tears are inevitable, but there is also togetherness, forgiveness, and a spirit of generosity. Ultimately, these are the invaluable gifts we aspire to impart to our children. Interestingly, our children often end up teaching us the most meaningful lessons about giving.
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Summary:
Creating a family holiday like Giving Day can be both exciting and challenging. While it may not always go as planned, the underlying values of generosity and togetherness are what truly matter. Our children often teach us the importance of love and giving, making these messy moments worthwhile.