By: Emily Carter
Updated: Aug. 26, 2023
When I found out I was pregnant, I assumed that my growing belly would lead to a decline in my sex drive. Boy, was I wrong! Thanks to those wild hormones, my husband and I were intimate up until around 36 weeks. Everyone kept telling me that getting busy might kickstart labor, and I was all for it, but as the weeks dragged on, things started to change. My belly blocked my view, and every position felt uncomfortable. By the end of my pregnancy, all I craved was an uninterrupted night’s sleep, free from hip pain and bathroom trips. I figured that once the baby arrived, sex would plummet on my list of priorities.
To my surprise, after the baby came, my libido surged unexpectedly. It didn’t matter that we were both exhausted or that I was sporting a maxi-pad that could double as a pillow. My husband and I found ourselves drawn to each other, sneaking moments of intimacy even during our 3 AM feedings. It felt like we were back in high school, making out like we were young and carefree.
As I counted down the days to my six-week postpartum checkup, I felt like a kid waiting for Christmas. I wanted to wait until my doctor gave me the green light before diving back into sex. On the big day, the doctor assured me that everything was healing well, but when she casually mentioned that sex post-baby might not be great, I dismissed her words. Little did I know how wrong I would be.
My first experience after getting the all-clear was painful, to say the least. I had prepared for discomfort, but nothing could have braced me for the reality. It was awful, and my mind was racing. I’d had a C-section, so I thought things would be different, but it felt like I was dealing with a completely new situation. Instead of being looser, it felt like everything had shrunk.
I sought advice from friends, and they all recommended the same solutions: lube, different positions, maybe a glass of wine. While I tried it all, nothing seemed to work. And let’s talk about the awkwardness of attempting to be intimate with a baby sleeping just down the hall. The thrill of sneaking around pales in comparison to the stress of trying to suppress cries of discomfort.
Just when I thought I couldn’t handle the frustration anymore, we tried again. This time, it didn’t hurt. I was overjoyed and found myself crying in the middle of it all, much to my husband’s confusion. Once I reassured him that I was fine, we resumed, and things finally felt normal again. Each subsequent encounter improved, and I realized that while the journey might take time, it does get better.
So, fear not, new parents! It might take a while to find your rhythm again, but it’s possible. Just remember to keep the noise down; we don’t want to wake the baby!
If you’re interested in more about navigating parenthood, check out this insightful post on Modern Family Blog. For those looking to explore at-home options, Make A Mom offers reputable kits, and for a deeper understanding of pregnancy and home insemination, Hopkins Medicine is an excellent resource.
Summary:
Navigating intimacy after having a baby can be challenging, with many new parents facing unexpected hurdles. While initial experiences may not meet expectations, open communication and patience can lead to improved intimacy over time.
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