Why I’m Not Apologizing for My Music Preferences

Updated: December 18, 2023

Originally Published: June 11, 2015

As I reflect on my musical choices, there’s a part of me—my inner 16-year-old—that might suggest I should be embarrassed by my eclectic tastes, but I find that I’m not. Once upon a time, music played a pivotal role in my identity. Back then, I sported black velvet chokers, dark nail polish, and styled my hair into two little buns that resembled cat ears. The teenager I was would be appalled to learn that two decades later, I’d be a parent blasting the Top 40 station while carting my child to swim lessons.

I used to know every single lyric from The Cure, even quoting them on my notebooks, yet now I sing along to artists like Dua Lipa and Ed Sheeran without a shred of irony. My teenage self would likely feel betrayed by this transformation.

Music and Social Identity

In high school, music was a defining factor in my social circles. We chose our lunch tables based on our favorite bands. I would never dream of sitting at the table for those who listened to pop icons like Britney Spears or, heaven forbid, country music. I was too cool for that—I belonged at the table where we scoffed at mainstream trends while sipping soda.

In my twenties, I was equally discerning. A prospective partner’s taste in music was a deal breaker for me. If someone was jamming to Hootie and the Blowfish, I knew we wouldn’t click. I had my standards; my future partner had to appreciate the artistry of the Beastie Boys, but it had to be their earlier, more authentic work, not their mainstream hits.

Shifting Perspectives

Looking back, it’s hard to believe I was ever so fixated on these preferences. I didn’t even pay attention to the Top 40 radio stations, as I was immersed in the world of college radio—those obscure frequencies that felt more genuine. Now, my car radio is permanently tuned to the very pop stations I once scoffed at, and I find myself wondering if college radio even exists anymore. Does anyone listen to it, or was that just a relic of the ’90s?

As it turns out, I’ve only just begun to appreciate bands like Nirvana, which I once dismissed for their popularity. Back in the day, I was all about Sonic Youth.

Embracing Change

Eventually, I accepted that music no longer defines me. I tried hard to maintain my hipster identity, but the truth is, I was already sporting capri pants and comfortable shoes. The natural progression led me to embrace artists like Shakira and Jennifer Lopez. While I still crave that edge, I’m now open to a broader spectrum of music. I even find joy in some country tunes—take that, high school me!

In this transition to motherhood, I’ve come to realize that my musical tastes no longer carry the weight they once did. I recall my own mother dancing to artists like Basia, while I rolled my eyes at her choices. Now, I find myself in a similar position, and it’s surprisingly liberating.

Finding Freedom in Music

At 41, I no longer feel the need to adhere to a specific musical identity. Age has afforded me the confidence to enjoy what I like without fear of judgment. Music doesn’t need to serve as a litmus test for my character; I’ve learned that one’s taste in music reveals very little about who they truly are. I don’t have time for music elitism anymore, as my focus is on more significant matters in life.

So, excuse me while I indulge in some Taylor Swift, and perhaps later, I’ll relax with a classic ’70s yacht rock playlist. Christopher Cross, here I come!

Summary

As I navigate the transition into motherhood, I’ve come to embrace a wider array of musical tastes that I once would have dismissed. With age, I’ve gained confidence in my preferences, no longer feeling the need to conform to a specific musical identity. Music is no longer a measure of my worth; rather, it’s a source of joy and personal liberation.