Recently, a profound realization struck me while I was at our local community pool observing my children. Upon a closer look, I noticed my oldest, a spirited teen, joyfully splashing around with her friends. My youngest was confidently leaping off the diving board, and my middle child was nestled in the shade, sharing laughter with his pals. As I sipped my lukewarm coffee, it dawned on me: This is my life.
To provide some context, the previous day had been particularly challenging. I woke up with the intention of making it a fantastic day, determined to avoid the usual cycle of replaying my parenting mishaps at bedtime. I made a conscious effort to be a present and understanding parent. I was consistent yet compassionate, managing to avoid distractions from my phone or raising my voice. However, maintaining this level of engagement all day proved to be exhausting.
Of course, that very day, my children seemed to turn our home into a battleground, constantly bickering with one another. I thought ordering pizza would improve the situation, but it only added to the chaos.
Have you ever experienced a day that spiraled into complete and utter disarray? It can be overwhelming. But as I sat at the pool the following morning, reflecting on my kids, I came to a realization:
- These are my children, thriving and healthy.
- I’m not stuck in a warm kiddie pool pretending it’s not unappealing.
- Diapers are a thing of the past, and everyone can manage their own hygiene.
- I haven’t had to remind anyone not to drink the pool water this summer.
- Strollers are no longer a part of my daily routine.
- We’re (mostly) getting a full night’s sleep.
- The incessant calls of “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!” have decreased significantly.
- I can use the restroom alone (almost 40% of the time).
- My children are becoming more independent and even lend a hand occasionally.
- They still seek my presence and affection.
- I can enjoy hugs and snuggles, yet they can also take out the trash.
- They’re growing up, but they’re still my little ones.
I find myself in this idyllic phase of parenthood.
I took a moment to absorb this realization. For years, I had been lost in the chaotic whirlwind of parenting, often neglecting the joys of the present. Life had been dictated by nap schedules, diaper changes, and preschool pickups. Yet, in the past year, things have shifted without my noticing.
This chaotic blur has begun to sharpen in clarity. I finally understand what everyone meant when they said time flies. Indeed, it has been racing past. When my children were younger, the days felt interminable, and my world seemed small and lonely. The hour before my partner returned from work could stretch on forever. Yet, I still cherished the moments—the scent of their baby hair and their tiny, kissable feet, now grown and sometimes smelly. They’ve transformed from being a part of me to becoming their own individuals. That chapter has closed, and now I sit here with three children who are no longer toddlers, but I’m filled with gratitude and a touch of anxiety.
Oh please, let this phase last a bit longer. Time has slipped by unnoticed, and I’m apprehensive about what lies ahead: social media, puberty, curfews, and the pressure that comes with it all. I wish to linger in this moment a little while longer, hoping for their safety, beauty, and youth to remain intact.
Reflecting on the day’s events, I found humor in the pizza incident from the previous evening. Later that night, I engaged in a candid discussion with my children about how they felt our summer was progressing. In the midst of this conversation, my 8-year-old son excitedly shared a lesson he learned in swim team about the importance of proper technique—pushing off the wall and gliding before taking that first stroke. He animatedly demonstrated, and suddenly he froze, arm raised high, face tilted upward, before resuming his display of enthusiasm.
“DID YOU SEE THAT? THAT WAS THE SWEET SPOT. WHEN YOU TURN YOURSELF AND LOOK AND BREATHE REAL DEEP. IF YOU DO THE SWEET SPOT JUST RIGHT YOU SET YOURSELF UP TO BE COMPLETELY AWESOME.” (My son has a tendency to speak quite loudly.) “MOMMY, WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR FACE? ARE YOU CRYING? YOU LOOK CONSTIPATED. HAW HAW HAW!! NO SERIOUSLY, WHAT?”
I explained to him that I had been contemplating our own sweet spot as a family. He regarded me with a mix of confusion and pity, which is always charming coming from a third grader. He then turned to his sisters.
“You know there’s a sweet spot in baseball too,” I mentioned, and his interest piqued. “It’s when the bat connects with the ball in the perfect spot. Everything aligns just right, and the ball takes off, soaring through the air. Do you understand?”
He and his siblings nodded in recognition. They had witnessed that exhilarating moment when a well-hit ball flies away from the bat.
I may have returned to my contemplative state, but my children quickly left the room, heading off to watch their show. Alone in the kitchen, I fought back tears.
The fleeting nature of this sweet spot is acceptable; it is meant to be. Like everything else, it has its season and purpose. Perhaps we are meant to use these moments to prepare ourselves for whatever comes next—aligning our lives so that, with a bit of luck, our children may glide into their futures, knowing when to turn, breathe, and kick.
Raising children is akin to mastering a sport; success is a blend of luck, dedication, and the daily commitment to put in the work. If done well, our children won’t just leave—they will soar. All we can hope for is that we prepared them to be entirely awesome.
If you’re interested in further exploring topics related to parenting and home insemination, check out this insightful post from our blog. For those looking into artificial insemination options, resources like BabyMaker can provide valuable information. Additionally, Progyny offers an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination journeys.
Summary
This reflection on parenthood reveals the bittersweet nature of watching children grow. The author recognizes being in a joyful phase of parenting while grappling with the inevitable changes ahead. Moments of clarity amid chaos highlight the beauty of family life, emphasizing the importance of cherishing the present while preparing for the future.