Dear Moms of One,
I want to take a moment to acknowledge your feelings and experiences. Like many, you may feel uneasy when confronted with terms such as “only child” or “only child syndrome.” It’s disheartening to hear others insist that having another child is essential, even suggesting that it would be selfish not to provide your child with a sibling.
Your reasons for having one child may be varied and deeply personal. Perhaps you faced secondary infertility, or you had limited resources for the last attempt at in vitro fertilization. You may have taken years to conceive and find the thought of going through that journey again overwhelming. Some may have had a difficult birth or battled postpartum depression. It’s also possible that, for financial or personal reasons, you simply feel that one child is enough for your family.
Whether you believe that having one child completes your family or you harbor a desire for another but have not been able to realize it, it’s completely acceptable. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your choices.
I understand what it’s like to hear unsolicited comments from acquaintances regarding your family structure. It can be frustrating as people offer their opinions without any invitation. I, too, have experienced the discomfort of listening to others enumerate reasons why one child may not suffice. Some comments may range from well-meaning to outright rude:
- “You really should give them a sibling!”
- “Who will help care for you when you’re older?”
- “Won’t they be lonely?”
- “You create such beautiful children; you must have more!”
- “You can’t possibly be worried about finances; just go for it!”
- “Can’t you see how much they want a brother or sister?”
The reality is that your child is not missing out on a fulfilling life because they have a loving family in you. Numerous studies highlight that only children can be more independent, creative, and ambitious. It raises the question: why does society often focus on the negatives instead of celebrating the unique strengths of every family structure?
Ultimately, whether the choice of one child is a decision or a circumstance you’ve come to accept, please remember you are not alone, and your child won’t be, either. The number of children you choose to have is a deeply personal matter and truly, no one else’s business. You are just as courageous as any other mother out there.
You are enough, and your child is too.
If you’re seeking more insights on this topic, consider exploring this resource on fertility or check out this informative post on home insemination. For those considering expanding their family, Make a Mom offers valuable resources on at-home insemination options.
In summary, being a mom of one is a valid and fulfilling choice. You are not alone in this journey, and your family dynamic is uniquely yours.