Updated: November 24, 2020
Originally Published: June 8, 2015
I like to think of myself as a generally cheerful person. Easygoing, humorous, and self-aware—at least most of the time. However, there’s a slight caveat: When I haven’t had enough sleep, I transform into a moody, irritable, and overly emotional wreck, devoid of any rational thought. At those moments, I’m absolutely convinced that I am 100% correct. Except in those rare instances when I’m not, which is often followed by a very humbling realization.
Still with me?
The challenge is that since the arrival of my son in the summer of 2014, restful nights have been a distant memory. Now I’ve graduated beyond occasional grouchiness into a more permanent state of emotional chaos. In fact, I sometimes believe my partner reminisces about the days when I was merely a grumpy, short-tempered individual.
Ah, the good old days.
Babies are fantastic—absolutely incredible! From their soft, wispy hair to their tiny, wrinkled toes, they truly embody the essence of joy. Those initial weeks with your newborn are filled with wonder—sort of.
They are also incredibly tiring. That’s why I’ve compiled a survival guide for any new dads (or moms) out there who might have a partner like me (and for that, I apologize) and a newborn:
- Avoid remarks about appearance. Refrain from telling your partner she looks like she’s been through a tough time. Right now, sculpted cheekbones and a perky figure are not her main concerns. If she’s survived the day without harming herself or the baby, consider yourself lucky and maybe even propose again.
- Don’t preface sensitive topics. Avoid starting sentences with, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but…” Trust me, there’s only one way for that to be taken.
- Recognize exhaustion. If she’s been up all night with the baby, that face-down position in bed isn’t an invitation. She’s likely in a deep sleep.
- Don’t inquire about her day. If you must know, it probably involved a cycle of feeding, burping, and changing the baby, followed by some existential pondering about how you both created such a beautiful child—all while managing various messes.
- Take responsibility. When your child inevitably has a diaper emergency in your arms, don’t turn to your partner and say, “I think the baby might need changing.” You know where the supplies are; use them.
- Communicate about timing. If you’re going to be late from work by more than a few minutes, let your partner know. She’s been counting down the hours, and if you show up late, she may not take it well.
- Understand your role. Parenting your child is not ‘babysitting.’ You’re a parent, not a guest.
- Offer support during emotional moments. If your partner suddenly bursts into tears for reasons unknown, offer a hug and comfort. Chances are she’s dealing with a mix of exhaustion and emotional overwhelm.
- Listen to her concerns. If she expresses worry about the baby, take her seriously. Avoid the temptation to say, “It’s fine.”
- Stay away from Google. It’s a rabbit hole you don’t want to go down, as it leads to unnecessary panic and misinformation.
By following these guidelines, you can navigate the tumultuous waters of new parenthood with a bit more ease. For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this blog post and gain further understanding about the journey ahead. Resources like this one can also be quite helpful.
In summary, being a new parent is a challenging yet rewarding experience that requires patience, understanding, and a sense of humor. Remember to communicate effectively with your partner and support each other as you both adjust to this new chapter in your lives.