You don’t mention to your partner how much you appreciate it when he does a certain thing, but in this moment, as it occurs naturally, you realize how much you’ve missed it. He turns around, shifting the car out of reverse, and places the warm square of his palm gently on the nape of your neck. Perhaps he too enjoys the reassurance that you belong to each other.
You express your dream of owning a vintage Volkswagen Beetle one day. You vividly describe the green bug your uncle drove back in the ’70s, when he would let you balance on the running boards as he rolled down your grandparents’ driveway in Queens, with his arm securely around you. You recall feeling like the coolest four-year-old. Your partner chuckles and promises to buy you one when the kids are grown, envisioning you as the spirited older woman he knows you’ll be. He gives a tender squeeze to your neck, a small gesture that conveys a multitude of feelings—reminders you cherish hearing repeatedly.
You reminisce about the various vehicles you’ve shared experiences in together. There was the forest-green Subaru hatchback with tan leather seats that he received from his parents during your college years. He picked you up in that car when you were just friends, before romance blossomed. You realized you had fallen for him while sitting in that front seat, before a single kiss had been exchanged, feeling a whirlwind of emotions you couldn’t yet comprehend.
You recall the day the car’s transmission failed during his drive to college right before senior year, somewhere near Roscoe, New York. He called you from a pay phone to come rescue him from the gas station where he had been towed. By that time, you had been dating for a few months, but it still warmed your heart to be the first person he thought to call.
There were countless drives between your parents’ home and his, especially when you both lived at home during school breaks. You drove your silver Subaru Justy, the little car with a three-cylinder engine and manual transmission. The scenic Connecticut roads lined with Revolutionary War-era cemeteries reminded you of life’s fleeting nature, filling you with both gratitude and a sense of mortality. You would shift gears to the rhythm of the radio, embracing the thrill of youth.
You think back to the summer nights spent cruising together, where the journey mattered more than the destination. His hand would rest on your thigh, and you remember the sensation, the fabric of your skirt brushing against your skin, the cool air tingling as it touched your bare legs.
You parked in quiet spots near your home, on streets devoid of traffic. Places like the cul-de-sac or the grove of juniper trees became intimate settings where you shared stolen moments, the darkness enveloping you as the headlights flicked off, the soft glow of the radio lighting your shared space.
These days, when you ride together, your thoughts often drift to the chaos of family life. Trips are filled with GPS misdirections, disagreements over delays, and the sounds of children’s chatter, snack spills, and bathroom requests. The backseat is no longer filled with booster seats, and you can’t help but ponder the inevitable day when your children will take the wheel.
Yet, in those rare moments, you reach out and place your hand on his thigh while he drives. You run your fingers along the fabric of his jeans, and he reciprocates, taking your hand with a firm yet gentle grip that reassures you of your bond. He lifts your hand to his lips, kisses it softly, and then returns it to his thigh, holding it there, reminding you both of what you share. “You need both hands on the wheel,” you say, trying to retract your hand, but he insists, “No, I don’t” with a smile.
What you’ve always desired is the certainty of your connection—that you belong to each other as you navigate life’s long and winding journey together.
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In summary, reflecting on past drives reveals the evolution of relationships, from carefree moments to the complexities of family life, while still cherishing the essence of connection that keeps partners intertwined.