Shortly after the birth of our third child, we found ourselves attending a wedding. Upon arriving at the hotel after the reception, we discovered that all three of our little ones—our 6-year-old, 3-year-old, and a newborn—had fallen asleep in the car. “What do we do now?” I quietly asked, enveloped in the dim light. When we were a family of four, each adult could comfortably carry a child to bed, but now, we faced a perplexing challenge: how to get everyone inside without disturbing their slumber or leaving anyone behind. Ultimately, we decided to wake our eldest, hoping she would cooperate. “Come on, sweetheart. We need you to walk.”
This situation illustrates a small glimpse into our new reality, one that has turned out to be less overwhelming than I had anticipated. I was apprehensive about managing the after-school hours alone with all three children, yet I found that my older kids became even greater playmates, while the baby was content to lie on the floor, observing the chaos around her.
While I feared that school pickups would disrupt the infant’s nap schedule, I quickly learned that third children often adapt well to their surroundings—at least mine does.
However, our home is anything but serene. We live in a small space with our family of five, along with two aging dogs, one of whom, a Pomeranian mix, is on medication for a heart condition. We constantly worry she might be having accidents indoors. Then there are the inevitable arguments among the kids over their makeshift forts, constructed from blankets, stuffed animals, and anything else they can find, which clutter our living room rug—creating tripping hazards and adding to the mess.
Until recently, the hub of our family dysfunction was my Subaru Outback. When I announced my pregnancy, everyone assumed we would upgrade our vehicle, but I insisted we stick with our Prius—my husband enjoys free parking at work due to its hybrid status—and we would squeeze all three kids into the back of the Subaru for as long as we could.
We did have to purchase a more compact car seat for our 3-year-old to fit alongside the booster seat and infant car seat, but it was manageable. Getting my eldest settled, however, required some awkward maneuvering, particularly on frigid Connecticut evenings after swim classes, when everyone was damp and in a hurry to get inside.
Many choose to avoid minivans, but I felt a sense of pride in resisting that trend. It wasn’t that I thought they were uncool, but I wanted to demonstrate that we could thrive in our limited space. We had more than two kids, made do with a small house, and would forgo the third-row seating too.
But living in a tight space can be exhausting. My beloved Subaru, which I once cherished for its manual transmission and rugged reliability, had become a source of stress. There was no more tiring place than in that vehicle with all three kids—one digging for treasure in his nose, another lovingly petting the baby, and the eldest twisting in her seat to join in the fun. One child might be laughing, another crying, and the third singing a lullaby, creating a cacophony that made me reconsider the dangers of driving while distracted.
When our youngest reached five months, I decided it was time to explore minivan options. We swiftly made the decision to trade in my cherished Outback for a Honda Odyssey. While I wasn’t fond of its aesthetics, I adored its functionality. The sliding doors opened with ease, and once everyone was inside, we could close them, adjust the heat, and settle down comfortably. There was even room for a cooler, making road trips more enjoyable for our dogs, who no longer had to squeeze into tight corners.
Still, the transition took some getting used to. The day we brought home the minivan, I reflected on my age—37—and how challenging it can be to embrace adulthood while remaining true to youthful dreams. As a teenager, I wanted to change the world, and I still aspire to that goal most days. Yet, I also found myself genuinely wanting a minivan.
In the “mini,” as I affectionately call it, my driving experience has transformed. Sitting comfortably in the spacious driver’s seat, I no longer need to glance back nervously at my children’s antics. The ride feels smooth and appropriate for this phase of my life—an exhilarating new adventure that I am learning to embrace.
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In summary, transitioning to life with a minivan has been a journey of adaptation and discovery. While the space is larger and more accommodating, the challenges of parenting remain. Learning to embrace this new chapter has brought unexpected joys and a sense of community in our bustling household.