One of the intriguing aspects of parenthood is how children interpret the language of adults. When children are very young, their misinterpretations can be quite charming. For instance, a toddler might exclaim, “I’m so excited to see that bunny!” when they actually mean they are thrilled to encounter the rabbit.
As children mature, however, the communication gap between kids and parents often widens. This discrepancy is surprising, given that children are steadily increasing their language skills. Yet, it seems that as they grow, their ability to grasp parental directives diminishes.
For example, when a parent simply states, “Go wash your hands with soap and water,” the response could result in dirty hands and a child who has completely bypassed the bathroom, instead opting to create art with markers. In “KidSpeak,” the phrase “wash your hands” may translate to “let’s go make something fun.”
Deciphering KidSpeak
Through my observations of my own elementary-aged child, I believe I have deciphered this unique language. Below is a guide to common phrases as understood by children:
- What You Say: Go get dressed.
What This Means To Kids: Venture to your room and begin constructing a Lego model of the structure you designed in Minecraft last night. - What You Say: Put your laundry away.
What This Means To Kids: Open all drawers and toss clothes in a random manner. Closing drawers is not part of the plan. - What You Say: Take a shower.
What This Means To Kids: Stand under the water without actually scrubbing anything below the waist. Emerge still dirty. - What You Say: Stop wrestling with your sister.
What This Means To Kids: Shift to sitting on your sister instead. - What You Say: Save your video game and come to dinner.
What This Means To Kids: ALERT! This marks the end of gaming! There may never be another chance to play again! Commence panic mode! - What You Say: I’m going to the bathroom.
What This Means To Kids: Immediately engage your parent in a trivial conversation, causing them to shift uncomfortably from foot to foot. - What You Say: Go clean up your room.
What This Means To Kids: Enter the room, close the door, and spend an extensive period searching for amusing words in the dictionary. - What You Say: I’m busy, I’ll be right there.
What This Means To Kids: Locate your parent and interrupt them with a convoluted request for assistance on something likely prohibited. - What You Say: Where did you put your shoes?
What This Means To Kids: Great! Mom is now on a mission to find my shoes for me. - What You Say: What did you do in school today?
What This Means To Kids: This statement acts as a powerful memory eraser, so use it with caution, or you may receive a blank stare followed by “I don’t know. Nothing.” - What You Say: Please stop imitating that Uncle Grandpa show.
What This Means To Kids: My freedom of expression is being violated!
While I have not yet unraveled the mystery of how to prompt kids to find their shoes or to share their school experiences, I find that repeating myself, often with increased volume, seems to yield some results.
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In summary, as amusing as it is to navigate the intricate language of children, the challenge remains in effectively communicating and ensuring they understand our expectations.