Parenting Insights
Reflecting on my eighth-grade science class, I realize that one particular chapter struck a chord of fear within me—it was about plate tectonics. While the concept of tectonic plates moving beneath the Earth’s surface didn’t frighten me in a scientific sense, the implications of those shifts resonated deeply. Even at 14, I grasped that these geological movements could serve as a metaphor for the many transitions in life.
Life’s tectonic shifts manifest in various forms: graduations, new jobs, marriage, relocation, and the addition of children—all significant events that reshape our personal landscapes. I vividly remember anticipating the arrival of my son, Leo. Transitioning from one child to two felt monumental after four years with my daughter, Mia. I was overwhelmed at the thought of juggling a newborn and a spirited toddler, worried that Mia would dominate the communication in our home. Little did I know that both kids would often speak over each other, accompanied by the sounds of the radio or television, with my husband vying for my attention too. Words would never be in short supply.
Navigating that shift from one to two children was challenging, yet I adapted to our new family dynamic. I faced other shifts as well: moving from our apartment to a house, undergoing necessary renovations, and tackling job changes and health challenges. Throughout these transitions, I clung to perceived control, managing the minutiae—packing lunches the night before, keeping the calendar updated, and ensuring bills were paid on time.
While the major tectonic shifts are apparent, subtle changes occur continuously beneath the surface. These subtle shifts often go unnoticed until a significant event prompts reflection. In my experience, I tend to appreciate what I have only after surviving a major upheaval. Yet, as I am constantly evolving, I ask: do I pause to recognize the beauty of these transformations as they unfold?
Recently, I have sensed another shift, distinct from previous ones. It transcends my children’s growth—Mia is starting middle school, and Leo has progressed through early elementary years. My career is stable, and while I am not coasting, the intense drive that characterized my earlier years has waned. I feel I’ve navigated the most challenging phases of balancing work and parenting, yet I find myself unsettled.
For over a decade, I have embraced my role as a full-time working mother and wife, often feeling constrained by societal expectations. The narrative that one cannot have it all or that striving to do so equates to failure has loomed large. I have dedicated myself to raising wonderful children, advancing in my career, and nurturing my marriage. Despite my best efforts, I now feel that it is not enough. I possess much of what I aimed for, yet the joy seems elusive. Even at my highest moments, where I’ve reached what feels like peaks, the view is often clouded by the weight of ongoing labor.
However, I recognize that there are more peaks ahead—those peaks may be linked to my children, career, or untapped aspects of myself. Recognizing this now allows me to seek joy along the paths I traverse. Motherhood is not merely about awaiting those peaks; the valleys, too, hold beauty. A mother understands that true appreciation cannot be reserved solely for after a seismic event; there is beauty in the consistent work of adjusting our landscape.
We cannot control the ever-changing geology of our lives. As the world shifts, I feel the need to slow down, to seek comfort in companionship, and to remember to pause and enjoy the evolving views. For those interested in exploring more about the journey of motherhood and home insemination, this blog post provides valuable insights. Additionally, Make a Mom offers authoritative resources on artificial insemination, and Progyny serves as an excellent resource for pregnancy-related information.
In summary, motherhood is a dynamic journey marked by both monumental shifts and subtle changes. Embracing these transitions, finding joy in the present, and recognizing beauty in the journey are essential aspects of navigating this complex landscape.