Moving day arrived in the university town where I reside, bringing with it a wave of parents from all corners of the country, eager to collect their children and take them home for the summer break. Cube vans crowded the streets, while local restaurants bustled with families treating their college kids to a nice meal.
I stopped by a downtown bakery to purchase some cookies—not for myself, of course. In an attempt to reassure the cashier of that fact, I remarked, “I’m such a great mom for buying my kids cookies.”
She smiled back and asked, “Oh, are you moving your child off campus?”
I was taken aback. Did she really think I was old enough to have children in college? Faced with that realization, I rushed to my car and scrutinized myself in the rearview mirror. My appearance seemed acceptable—decent outfit, hair in order, moisturizer applied earlier that day. Did I really look that old? Was that a new wrinkle I spotted?
Not too long ago, I worked at the university and walked among the students, feeling little different from them. It hadn’t been ages since I was a student myself, blending in with my peers. “I’m hip. I’m cool. I totally pass for a student,” I would tell my husband.
His response? “You’re deluded.”
Contradictions of College Life
Living in a college town presents various contradictions. Being around young adults can occasionally allow you to experience a sprinkle of their youthful energy. College students are the ultimate trendsetters, making it easy to stay updated on music, fashion, and the latest smartphone apps. Yet every fall, the new crop of students seems to grow increasingly younger, with many still sporting braces.
While they appear to age backward, I feel as though I have remained the same. Intellectually, I know this isn’t true—I hold a degree, after all. But physical closeness creates an illusion of being contemporary and relevant, making you feel as if you haven’t aged at all—until a cashier refers to you as their mother.
Reflections on Age and Parenthood
Now, the first of our friends’ children is heading off to college next fall. How did that happen? It seems just yesterday we were the ones graduating. My children are still young, yet they are closer to attending college than I am to having just graduated. We are at the stage where our friends are now university professors—those same friends with whom we once shared drinks at the campus pub.
This cognitive dissonance—a term I learned in school—creates a perplexing gap between my perceived age and my actual age. Managing this disconnect is not something that is taught, and ironically, the only way to learn this lesson is through time and the occasional harsh reality check under fluorescent lights.
Considering a Return to College
I have often considered pursuing another degree. In what might be seen as the ultimate in helicopter parenting disguised as self-improvement, I think about returning to college when my children do. Just imagine taking some classes together, walking across campus, and sharing a lunch. They’d surely love that, right? After all, I’m hip and cool, or at least I bring the cookies.
Further Insights
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In summary, living in a college town brings a unique set of challenges and reflections on age and youthfulness. The paradox of feeling youthful while witnessing the next generation grow can lead to moments of introspection, especially when the realities of parenthood begin to intersect with the academic world.