Updated: August 15, 2023
Originally Published: May 25, 2023
It’s hard to believe how challenging shorts weather has always been for me. Yet this year, after significant effort in embracing self-love, I’ve decided to change that narrative.
Throughout the day, I found myself acutely aware of my body in ways that felt unfamiliar. I noticed the crease at my waist, a reminder of the changes following motherhood. I felt the familiar friction of my thighs, a reality I’ve faced since sixth grade. Each time I passed a reflective surface, I couldn’t help but think about how my upper arms appeared larger than I wished. This preoccupation left me distracted and, by the day’s end, I was feeling quite down. I felt exhausted and disheartened, longing to hide beneath my covers indefinitely.
Springtime and Societal Pressures
I can trace the onset of my body image issues back to when I was around 12. As shorts season approached, I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I was no longer a little girl but not quite a woman, and that disconnect led me to my first diet, a decision that spiraled into a 20-year battle with my self-image.
Throughout the years, I fluctuated in weight, but regardless of my size, I never felt satisfied. Even at my thinnest, I fixated on perceived flaws, convinced that I would never be “good enough.”
Understanding My Feelings
So, what do I truly feel when I wear shorts and think I look “fat”? It’s deeper than just body image; it’s a sense of inadequacy, a feeling of judgment, and an overwhelming discomfort within my own skin. It’s about feeling too much—too heavy, too flawed, too unworthy.
After grappling with these feelings for a day, I realized my anger stemmed from a deeper sadness. I mourn for the 12-year-old girl I once was, who was perfect in her own right, despite societal pressures. It pains me to reflect on the time wasted obsessing over diets and exercise rather than enjoying the simple joys of life.
A Shift in Perspective
Interestingly, during my pregnancy, I experienced a newfound appreciation for my body. For the first time, I admired its strength and capability as it transformed to nurture my child. Breastfeeding brought its own challenges, yet focusing on nurturing my baby made it easier to accept my body’s changes. But now that my child is over two years old, I wonder if I’m still allowed to embrace my body when it’s not performing such a special function.
In a society that often stigmatizes bodies like mine, I feel compelled to take a stand. Though there have been strides toward greater acceptance, finding plus-size shorts without restrictive features can be a struggle, highlighting the ongoing battle for body positivity.
Taking Back My Power
I refuse to waste any more time. From that pivotal moment at 12 when I deemed my body inadequate to last night’s fixation on my thighs, I have lost too many precious moments worrying about my appearance. Today, I choose to wear shorts and feel beautiful.
I’m inspired by movements like #takebackpostpartum, and I am declaring my own journey as #iwillwearshorts. Today, I will proudly wear shorts on my walk to the park with my son, appreciating my strong legs and fully immersing myself in the present instead of fixating on my body.
I invite others to join me. Who else is ready to wear shorts?
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Summary
This article reflects on the struggles of body image, particularly during shorts season, and how societal pressures can lead to negative self-perception. The author shares her personal journey of overcoming these feelings and embracing her body, especially after experiencing the transformative process of pregnancy. She encourages readers to join her in celebrating their bodies and taking back their power, underscoring the importance of living in the moment and appreciating oneself as they are.