Becoming a mother can feel like entering a chaotic high school cafeteria. The confident moms, those who manage to get dressed and brush their hair daily, congregate at one table. The breastfeeding mothers form their own group, while those who use formula sit apart. The sleep trainers exchange tips, and the co-sleepers enjoy their solitude, relishing a moment of space. Attachment parents, with children in tow, occupy the corner. Meanwhile, everyone is on the lookout for a new mom to stumble, so they can share a knowing glance and a quiet laugh.
This scenario is a reflection of the outdated “Mommy Wars” narrative that trivializes the experiences of women. The truth is, we are all mothers, and many of us haven’t savored a warm meal in years. Given a moment to speak, most of us would choose not to judge, especially new moms.
The divide between “experienced” and “new” moms is not the norm. When a seasoned mother observes a new mom struggling, the look in her eyes is one of empathy, not criticism. We’ve been through it, and if our kids weren’t demanding our attention right this second, we’d say:
- It’s completely normal for your car to resemble a graveyard for snack remnants. Just yesterday, we found evidence of a long-lost hot dog under the seat!
- We admire your dedication to crafting wholesome, organic meals daily. But remember, it’s okay if you later realize your child’s nutrition consisted of pickles and candy. It happens to the best of us.
- The unparalleled joy you feel when your baby snuggles on your chest is unmatched, no matter your college experiences. Thank you, oxytocin. And if you forgo a night out for some cuddle time, we totally get it.
- If you’re contemplating purchasing a taxi cab with soundproof partitions, you’re not alone. We’ve considered this too!
- It’s natural to get emotional when packing away baby items, like nasal aspirators, as your little one reaches new milestones. They sneak up on you!
- Don’t feel guilty if you conduct a sniff test on your clothes before washing them. A bit of spit-up? If you can wipe it off, it’s suitable for running errands. Go green, right?
- When you decide to return to the gym, it’s perfectly fine to admit it’s really for the childcare. No shame in wanting a little break!
- We commend your efforts in making homemade cleaning solutions. Vinegar is indeed magical! But no judgment if you revert to store-bought cleaners during a stomach virus episode. We understand “projectile” all too well.
- Your strength shouldn’t be questioned if you can’t pry a lollipop from your child’s grasp. There’s no force stronger than a baby with candy.
- If you’ve thought about asking your partner to celebrate your next birthday with a vasectomy, you’re not alone.
- Don’t underestimate your parenting abilities if your child uses Time Out as an imaginary playtime. Savor that moment of peace!
- We still consider you stylish, even if you have Cheerios stuck in your scarf and a chocolate smudge on your cheek.
- We admire your ability to answer curious questions from your child, even in the most public of places—just keep it PG!
- Telling your child that their favorite character is on a long vacation is not lying; it’s self-preservation. We fully support this tactic.
- Wearing a nursing bra even months after breastfeeding? No judgment here. We understand that changes take time.
Motherhood is a shared journey, and instead of fostering divisions, we seek strength in solidarity. If you encounter a judgmental figure, just smile and thank them for their unsolicited advice while possibly hiding a little mess under your nails.
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Summary:
Veteran moms want to remind new mothers that they are not alone in their struggles and experiences. They share insights on everything from messy cars to the emotional milestones of parenting. By focusing on support rather than judgment, they encourage camaraderie among all moms.