Crafting a Social Media Agreement for Your Teen

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Navigating the digital landscape can feel a lot like exploring the Wild West—exciting yet unpredictable. As parents, sending our tweens and teens into this vast online world armed only with vague advice like “be careful” or “make good choices” simply isn’t sufficient. Instead, they need clear guidelines that reflect our family values and morals.

Inspired by my experiences with my 14-year-old son, I decided to establish a social media contract that could help set boundaries and remove any ambiguity surrounding the rules. After he shared a post that raised some concerns, I realized the importance of having a structured agreement. A signed contract between parents and child can eliminate disputes over what is acceptable and what isn’t; it’s hard to argue against something that’s been agreed upon.

Here’s the revised social media contract:

1. I commit to keeping my social media accounts set to “private” at all times.
2. I will refrain from posting pictures that only show body parts. Images will only include my face or the faces of my friends, as I recognize the importance of not sexualizing myself to strangers.
3. I will not share sexualized content, including kisses or suggestive poses. While it’s fine to be playful, the internet isn’t a safe space for young people to express themselves in a sexual manner.
4. I agree to communicate respectfully, avoiding any form of mockery, teasing, gossip, or sharing secrets on social media.
5. For safety reasons, I will not disclose my exact location on social platforms. For instance, I won’t post about being at the mall with friends and then heading home.
6. If I receive any threatening or inappropriate messages or images, I will promptly inform an adult family member.
7. I will not access pornography. While I understand that sex is a healthy aspect of adult life, I acknowledge that pornography is harmful for young minds. If I encounter it accidentally or a friend shows it to me, I will stop viewing it immediately. I recognize that many performers in such content may be experiencing their own difficulties. Curiosity is normal, but I agree to wait until I’m older to explore this area.
8. I understand that everything I post online can be permanent, even if deleted. Skilled users can retrieve deleted content, and even private messages can be shared elsewhere. I acknowledge that future employers and relationships may see my online history.
9. During family time, I will put away all devices, including my phone. This applies to my parents too.
10. I agree to participate in occasional internet breaks. If I show signs of needing a break—like irritability or a lack of interest in family activities—my parents may ask me to stay offline for a day or two.
11. I will stop using all technology by 8:00 PM nightly unless I receive permission for an exception.
12. If I violate any of these agreements, I understand that my social media access will be restricted for a period determined by my parents. I know that my family loves me and sets these guidelines out of care.

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In summary, a social media contract serves as a valuable tool for establishing clear expectations with your teen. This approach fosters open communication and helps ensure that their online experiences remain safe and positive.