Navigating a woman’s relationship with her body can be incredibly complex. Our physical selves—skin, hair, teeth, and bones—often evoke feelings of discomfort, anxiety, and regret. Thankfully, conversations like those initiated by comedians such as Amy Schumer are helping to unravel these deeply ingrained feelings of shame. While societal pressures are significant, the foundation we receive from our mothers can significantly influence how we perceive ourselves. I was fortunate to gain invaluable lessons from my mother that have shaped my understanding of body image.
1. Maintain a Healthy Respect for Hygiene
From a young age, my mother instilled in me the importance of cleanliness. I learned to flush public toilets with my foot before I could even reach the handle. She demonstrated how to open doors with tissue, use her elbow to press soap dispensers, and turn light switches on and off with her knuckles. Thanks to her meticulous hygiene practices, I rarely fall ill, which I attribute to her commitment to cleanliness. You should see her handle a bottle of disinfectant!
2. Endure Temporary Discomfort
When I was about five, I had a memorable standoff with my mother over using detangling spray. I was restless, sitting on the closed toilet, eager to return to play. She shared a cautionary tale about a princess who refused to let her mother comb her hair and ended up bald. That story scared me into silence. As an adult, I’ve developed a strong ability to tolerate discomfort, which has proven useful in various situations!
3. Naming Body Parts Matters
In our household, there were no euphemisms for body parts. My vagina was simply referred to as such, even if I stumbled over the pronunciation at nine months old. Visiting friends’ houses, I encountered silly names like “twinkle” for genitals, which left me baffled. My mother’s straightforward approach empowered me; if there’s no need for a nickname for an elbow, why should there be one for our private areas? Now, as a writer focusing on sex and relationships, I speak openly about topics many find embarrassing.
4. Menstruation is Natural
At six, I discovered a tampon on the bathroom counter and asked my mother about it. She took the time to explain menstruation without shame. This open dialogue created a safe space for learning about my body. When I eventually got my period, I was better prepared than many of my peers, thanks to her practical guidance. While cramps and migraines are unavoidable, the fear surrounding menstruation was eliminated.
5. Food Should Not Be Feared or Idolized
I grew up in a family that didn’t conform to conventional beauty standards. My maternal lineage is petite, and my paternal grandmother struggled with obesity. Although dieting was part of my upbringing, my mother emphasized a balanced relationship with food. Despite the pressures many of my friends faced regarding body image, her message was clear: if you feel unattractive or unworthy, reach out to me. This openness fostered a healthy body image, independent of societal standards.
6. True Beauty Shines from Within
Perhaps this lesson is a bit biased, as my mother embodies a classic beauty reminiscent of Grace Kelly. However, she taught me that authentic beauty is not just about physical appearance but also about kindness and joy. While we appreciated beautiful things and enjoyed shopping at places like Bloomingdale’s, I learned that my mood significantly influences how others perceive me. It’s not solely about makeup or attire.
In conclusion, the insights I gained from my mother have profoundly shaped my perspective on body image, emphasizing hygiene, resilience, open communication, and the importance of inner beauty. For more detailed information on related topics, consider visiting resources like the CDC’s guide on assisted reproductive technology or exploring practical options for home insemination.