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Absolutely, I’m Ready to Leave My Kids for a Weekend
The phrase “I’d do anything for a vacation” is a common sentiment among mothers. Indeed, whether they are working outside the home or managing household duties, mothers everywhere, including myself, crave a break now and then. It’s essential to have a mental respite from the daily balancing act of parenthood. Knowing that other mothers share this need, what better way to enjoy a getaway than with a weekend trip with friends?
When I suggested this to my partner, he responded positively: “That sounds great! You deserve a break. Go and enjoy some time with your friends.” Filled with excitement, I began drafting an email to my girlfriends, detailing our potential weekend plans: spa visits, lounging by the pool, heartfelt conversations, and, of course, plenty of wine.
However, my enthusiasm quickly dwindled as I read their replies.
“I’d love to, but I’ve never left my son overnight. I just don’t think I can do it.”
“Sounds delightful, but I really don’t want to be away from the kids.”
“Being away overnight from my little one might be too much. How about just a dinner instead?”
“I could never leave my kids for an entire weekend. Sorry!”
With each response, my vision of a fun-filled weekend with old friends faded, and I began to question my maternal instincts and priorities.
Guilt crept in. Is it wrong that I would enjoy a brief escape from my children? Should I feel the need to be with them every moment? Does this mean I don’t love my kids as much as my friends love theirs?
Let me clarify: I’m not advocating for a monthly retreat, but an annual getaway sounds reasonable.
Surprisingly, the last reason I thought would keep me from enjoying a girls’ trip was the lack of companionship. While many mothers might cite time, finances, or childcare as barriers, I had those covered—I had an extended weekend off, funds I had saved, and a supportive partner.
One friend candidly shared, “I really don’t know any other moms who would feel comfortable leaving their kids for a weekend.”
That stung. It seemed I was not only an outlier in my small circle, but among mothers in general. The weight of parental expectations was palpable.
Yet, as I contemplated this, I felt defensive. I love my children deeply, just as any mother does. In fact, during the rare occasions I’ve spent a night away, I often found myself in tears upon departure, thinking of them throughout my time away.
Just because my views on parenting differ from my friends’ doesn’t imply that any of us is a bad mother. It simply highlights that each mom’s journey is unique.
Judgment is easy in the realm of parenting, especially with the myriad controversial topics that arise. Labeling mothers as overprotective or excessively cautious only adds guilt to those already battling self-doubt in their parenting journey.
I wince when I hear comments like, “I can’t believe you can be away from your kids!” (What’s the implication there?), just as I’m sure others cringe at statements like, “You’re missing out because you won’t leave your kids” (What are you trying to say?).
Ultimately, I’ve concluded that love does not have a singular definition—it manifests in various forms. It means doing what’s best for both your family and yourself. For some, that means being present with their kids at all times, while for others, it’s about carving out a little personal space and “me” time.
Regardless, love should not be in question.
Acknowledging that my friends and I share the same love for our children doesn’t resolve my vacation dilemma, so… who’s interested in a girls’ weekend?
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In summary, taking a weekend away is not just a luxury; it can be an essential part of maintaining a healthy balance in motherhood. Embracing different parenting styles and acknowledging our varying needs can lead to more understanding and less guilt among mothers.