You’ve stocked up on glue sticks, notebooks, pencils, and new shoes. The promise of freedom is almost here. Each day, your children return home with a backpack bursting with papers: emergency contact forms, PTA schedules, assignments. You find yourself with more homework than they do during that first week. Soon, they will settle into a routine, and you’ll reclaim your life.
However, one day you receive The Letter in their folder. Or worse, you get The Phone Call.
Lice.
If you’ve previously dealt with a lice infestation, you’re likely experiencing a wave of anxiety and instinctively scratching your head. Don’t worry! It’s just a word—unless you currently have lice, in which case, pour yourself a shot of tequila from the liquor cabinet, drink it, and take a moment to breathe.
Here are the 5 Stages of Lice:
- Denial and Isolation: Upon hearing that your child has lice, your first reaction may be one of disbelief. “Excuse me, nurse, did you say I need to pick up Jamie because she has lice? That’s impossible; she’s always clean.” Rationalizing panic is a natural response to shock. After retrieving your child and making a frantic purchase of a nit removal kit, you pour yourself a glass of wine, log off social media, close the curtains, and allow yourself to cry in solitude. You might not want to see anyone for the rest of the day—perhaps even longer.
- Acceptance: Unlike the Stages of Grief, Acceptance is the second phase of dealing with lice. As you enjoy your first glass of wine, you’ve just applied the most potent over-the-counter treatment available, along with any natural remedy you stumbled upon online. Your kitchen counter now resembles both a pharmacy and a salad bar. Your child is blissfully playing a video game, and you think, “I can handle this!” When the timer rings, you rush your child into the shower, pour warm vinegar over her head (it’s supposed to help with the nit glue), and grab the comb to start the removal process.
- (11 hours later…)
- Anger: The reality of the task ahead begins to sink in. Dinner plans are abandoned, and you bark at your partner to pick up something—anything—on their way home. If you have other children, they’ll have to fend for themselves today. By the fifth hour, my daughter realized I was too occupied to help her, and she stopped asking. The initial buzz from the wine fades, leaving you worn out and irritable. Yet you continue to comb, battling those tiny nuisances that seem impervious to your efforts. Exhaustion sets in, and you realize the battle may be ongoing.
- Depression: If you find yourself facing lice that resist over-the-counter treatments, personal care will take a backseat to nit removal for days, even weeks. Your child’s hair may be long, and cutting it isn’t an option they’ll forgive. Family members may refuse buzz cuts, leaving you feeling hopeless. Your own hair becomes a frizzy mess, and social outings are off the table. You’re a naturally social person, and the isolation feels heavy. It can feel like an endless struggle.
- Bargaining: The final stage is bargaining. At first, you may hold onto your principles, thinking, “I’ll treat this naturally. I’ve heard mayonnaise works wonders!” But as the weeks drag on, you may find yourself willing to try anything that promises relief. You may spend excessively on take-out, hair accessories, and various treatments, realizing that a professional service might have been the best choice from the start. By the third week, in tears at your doctor’s office, you might even consider drastic measures, like kerosene. Eventually, you may find a treatment that works.
For those who believe they are immune to lice due to their cleanliness or lifestyle, remember this: lice are like mosquitoes—they are attracted to warm heads and human blood. If you come into contact with them, they won’t discriminate. Clean or dirty hair, home remedies—there’s no scientific evidence that guarantees protection. If you’ve never encountered lice, you’ve been fortunate. Should you find yourself amidst an infestation, know that it does not define you as a bad or negligent parent. Seek help from friends, and if you are that friend, try to remain compassionate when someone confides in you about their lice experience.
Life after lice is possible. You will return to normal grooming habits, and when faced with judgment from others about your lice experience, try to resist the urge to retaliate.
While lice may not be the worst thing, those who have endured this ordeal would never wish it upon their worst enemies.
This article was originally published on May 6, 2015. For more insights, check out this post on home insemination kit. You can also explore more on fertility at Make a Mom and UCSF.
Summary
This article outlines the emotional journey parents experience upon discovering their child has lice, detailing the five stages: denial and isolation, acceptance, anger, depression, and bargaining. It emphasizes that lice infestations can happen to anyone, regardless of cleanliness, and encourages seeking support during this challenging time.