As my daughter Lily approaches her tenth birthday, I find myself reflecting on the important lessons I wish to impart to her. The transition from girlhood to adolescence is a significant one, and while I know I can’t dictate her values or beliefs, I aim to share insights that can guide her.
- Your happiness is not your responsibility. It’s important to understand that your role is not to keep the people you care about content—whether it’s me, your dad, your siblings, or friends. The reality is that you cannot control others’ emotions.
- Stay fearless in your physicality. I encourage you to embrace your body and its capabilities. Whether you’re running, jumping, or climbing, these activities foster a sense of health and achievement. Watching you dash down the soccer field or conquer the monkey bars fills me with pride.
- Embrace your passions without fear. Don’t shy away from what you love, even if it seems childish to you or invites teasing. Anyone who mocks you for your interests isn’t a true friend. This realization is crucial and will serve you well.
- Disagreements are healthy. You have your own opinions, and they matter. I want to hear your thoughts, even if they conflict with mine. Engaging in respectful discussions can lead to growth for both of us.
- You are uniquely beautiful. Your appearance reflects both your babyhood and the young lady you are becoming. I see a blend of my features and your father’s, creating a beautiful individual. Remember, true beauty is rooted in your spirit and authenticity.
- Cultivate a love for reading. Reading has always been a source of joy for me, and I’m thrilled to see you enjoying it as well. The ability to connect with characters and explore different worlds is a lifelong gift.
- You are your own person. While we share many similarities, you are entirely your own individual. I recognize that part of your growth involves finding your independence, and I want you to feel free to explore your identity.
- It’s often not about you. When people act in hurtful ways, it usually stems from their own struggles, not yours. This understanding can be challenging, but it may provide comfort when you face hurtful situations.
- No one person can fulfill all your needs. Be cautious about relying too heavily on someone for emotional support. That feeling of emptiness is a common human experience. Learning to manage it independently is essential for your emotional well-being.
- I’m doing my best. I recognize that I’m not perfect. I can be impatient, and I may not always respond as kindly as I wish. However, my love for you and your brother is unwavering, and I strive to support you every day.
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In summary, as Lily grows, I hope these lessons resonate with her, guiding her toward a fulfilling and authentic life.