Once children enter elementary school, they quickly become acquainted with the concept of Box Tops. On the first day of school, teachers introduce themselves, assign desks, and then immediately emphasize the significance of those little cardboard cutouts.
“Mom! They help our school!”
“Box Tops are funding our new gymnasium!”
“Box Tops will take us to Sea World!”
“Box Tops SAVE THE WORLD!”
These are all statements (potentially exaggerated) that my child has exclaimed while we’re navigating the grocery store aisles. Now, before you judge me as an unsupportive parent (I can be a bit of a jerk, but I do care about my child’s school), let me explain…
My daughter suffers from a perplexing skin condition that no one seems able to diagnose. I’ve invested a significant amount of money in conventional medicine, as well as every alternative treatment imaginable. Essential oils? Check. Steroid creams? Check. Blood tests? Check. Food allergies? CHECK.
However, have you ever noticed how few organic products carry Box Tops? I’ve searched every store, and there are only a handful of organic items—FOUR to be exact. The best solution for my daughter’s skin issues has been adhering to an organic diet. It’s frustrating and costly, but I want her to be comfortable, so organic it is for us.
Organic means no Box Tops. No Box Tops means I’m the “evil mother” who doesn’t want her child to enjoy Sea World! It feels like General Mills and Sea World have teamed up against me. Sea World must have sensed my decision to skip their park after watching “Blackfish,” and now they’re using Box Tops as a weapon.
To avoid being that parent who doesn’t contribute, I’ve resorted to Costco shopping, loading up on items that do have Box Tops but won’t aggravate my daughter’s skin—like Ziploc bags. Each trip, we stock up enough bags to make approximately 6,000 sandwiches, and I promptly destroy each box upon returning home. My daughter then has her 12 Box Tops to take to school the following day, and everything is right in the world. If a Ziploc bag shortage occurs, just call me; I’m stocked for years.
However, I’ve reached a point where I simply don’t have room for any more flattened Ziploc box remnants. So, I’ve taken matters into my own hands and started searching for Box Tops on eBay! It’s a brilliant idea, right? Currently, I’m in a bidding war for 500 Box Tops and I’m leading at $42.00.
After placing my bid on these cardboard treasures, I decided to discover their actual value. TEN CENTS. TEN. FREAKING. CENTS. Had I known that each product I was intentionally buying for those Box Tops was only worth a dime, I would have just given my child a dime every time we passed by a cereal box with a Box Top. Wouldn’t that be easier?
Since I lost the bidding war to BoxTopQueen123 on eBay, I’m retrieving the crumpled twenty-dollar bill from my wallet, heading to the bank, and requesting two hundred dimes. That should last me for a year—after all, that’s two hundred Box Tops.
If you’re interested in more on this topic, check out this informative post which dives deeper into the realm of home insemination. For those looking for a reliable source, Make a Mom is also a great authority on at-home insemination kits. Additionally, the CDC provides excellent resources regarding pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, navigating the world of Box Tops can be a frustrating experience for parents, especially when it conflicts with dietary needs. The struggle to support schools while prioritizing a child’s health can feel like an uphill battle, but finding creative solutions, like bulk shopping and online bidding, can help ease the burden.