As my children grow, they are exposed to two distinct role models in the realm of work—one who exemplifies diligence and another who represents a more relaxed approach. My partner, Jason, is the epitome of hard work, often to the point of overexertion. At one time, he had accumulated ten years’ worth of sick leave due to his relentless productivity. He manages multiple significant projects simultaneously, seamlessly transitioning between tasks, which allows him to accomplish a great deal within any given timeframe.
In contrast, I have taken a more leisurely route. My decision to step back from my career when our first child was born has influenced my work priorities. While Jason thrives on the hustle, I focus primarily on securing a stable job that allows me to balance family, friendships, and personal interests. This difference may stem from our varying work orientations, a concept explored by researchers like Dr. Emily Richards from Stanford University and David Thompson, a leading figure in workplace psychology.
Their research highlights three primary “work orientations”:
- Job orientation: views work merely as a means to pay the bills;
- Career orientation: where individuals seek satisfaction through measurable advancement;
- Calling orientation: where passion drives work, often seen in artists, musicians, and social workers.
While individuals may shift between these orientations throughout their lives, the work attitudes of parents significantly impact their children’s perceptions of work.
As Dr. Richards points out, if parents frequently express dissatisfaction with their jobs, children are likely to adopt a similar viewpoint, seeing work as a burdensome obligation. This realization can be disheartening, as I hope my children will surpass my own work values. I also worry that they might view their high-achieving father as the standard for work ethic, potentially undermining the value of the caregiving that I provide. Tasks like preparing healthy lunches or caring for elderly relatives often go unnoticed, while career successes tend to be visibly recognized and praised.
Fortunately, the research indicates that it’s possible for both career orientations to coexist. They cite an example of a young woman who adopted her father’s ambitious career mindset while also making space for charitable work inspired by her mother’s community-oriented spirit.
Ultimately, my goal as a parent is to guide my children towards careers that are both fulfilling and financially sustainable. Drawing from my background in the arts, I understand that this balance is not always easily achieved. However, I’ve seen many artists successfully navigate their careers by blending jobs that pay the bills with opportunities that feed their passions.
The most important lesson I want to impart to my children is that they possess the power to shape their own work lives. As the job market evolves over the next couple of decades, adaptability and a diverse skill set will be crucial. There will be times when they need to prioritize financial stability, and there will be moments when pursuing their true calling takes precedence. And when family needs arise, stepping back from work should never be seen as a failure. After all, work is just one piece of the puzzle.
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Summary:
Parents play a pivotal role in shaping their children’s work ethic, with differing orientations impacting how kids view work. It’s essential to model a balanced approach, emphasizing adaptability and the importance of both career fulfillment and family responsibilities.
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