The 7 Stages of Grief / Planning an Adult Night Out

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Every so often, you manage to escape the confines of your daily routine—trading your casual wear for something a bit more sophisticated, if only for one night. Planning an adult night out becomes a significant undertaking, filled with various stages that you must navigate to reach that coveted evening of freedom. Here are the seven stages of this journey.

  1. The Invitation: A text, a call, or an Evite arrives, and your immediate reaction is pure excitement. You respond enthusiastically, but just as you do, your toddler decides to express his discontent by spitting up on you. It’s almost as if he knows exactly what you’re plotting. Finding a babysitter is about to become a challenge.
  2. The Sitter Search: With visions of enjoying a chilled margarita, you embark on the quest to find someone to care for your little ones. You initially turn to family, but when you discover they’re all busy at a community event, you start looking at local teenagers. After exhausting all other options, you even consider the pizza delivery guy from last week—he managed to handle your kids while dodging Nerf darts, so he could be a viable candidate.
  3. The Acceptance: As you confirm your attendance with the hostess, you can’t help but hope her babysitter hasn’t canceled. You question whether she actually intended to invite you, given that your life has been a whirlwind of mundane tasks lately. To prepare for adult conversations, you glance through some bestsellers, only to realize you have time to skim one chapter and check Wikipedia for the rest.
  4. Choosing an Outfit: Your closet seems to be a tribute to maternity and active wear, neither of which is appropriate for a night out. A trip to the local department store yields a shirt that flatters your figure—until your baby spits up on it in the dressing room. You leave with the shirt and a bottle of stain remover.
  5. House Preparation: The day of the outing is spent deep cleaning your home, as you don’t want anyone to think you live in chaos. You might even throw your back out while mopping, but you pour yourself a glass of wine, telling yourself that your mental health is worth the physical strain.
  6. Getting the Kids Ready: You pull out board games you’d rather avoid, stockpile junk food you typically wouldn’t allow, and queue up every episode of their favorite show. You remind yourself that if you’re not there to witness the chaos, it’s like it never happened. Tomorrow, you can return to healthy dinners.
  7. Preparing Your Partner: You gently remind your spouse that he is fully capable of dressing himself and that if he plays his cards right, there might be a reward later. You push thoughts of your insecurities aside and mentally prepare to rejoin the land of adults.

Finally, you manage to escape the house. After a brief sprint from your children, you realize that all this preparation has left you too drained to engage in lively conversation. Instead, you and your partner opt for drive-thru tacos and a bottle of tequila, parking several houses down to enjoy a moment of quiet together. You return home at 10:30, only to find the kids still awake and the pizza guy snoozing in your recliner. At least you don’t have to worry about giving him a ride home.

Summary: Planning an adult night out can feel like navigating a series of emotional stages, from receiving the invitation to preparing your house and family. Each step brings its own challenges, but the anticipation of a child-free evening makes it all worthwhile.

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