Parenting Insights
By: Anna Collins
Updated: July 23, 2020
Originally Published: April 14, 2015
As a mother of sons, I admit my knowledge of raising daughters is limited. However, if I were to send a daughter out into the world, I would ensure she had a copy of Sarah Bennett’s The Young Woman’s Handbook: Mastering Life’s Complexities. This comprehensive guide addresses various facets of a young woman’s journey. Bennett, a seasoned writer, draws from expert insights and her extensive research to provide practical, relatable, and often humorous counsel for the challenges young women encounter. It’s hard not to appreciate a book that begins with a chapter titled, “Real Women Attend Health Screenings, Enjoy Bread, and Confront Their Reflections.”
I recently posed several questions to Bennett, whose insightful and witty answers offer valuable guidance for both our daughters and ourselves.
Bennett emphasizes that, regardless of age, the desire for parental approval persists. We often seek affirmation from our parents about our choices, achievements, and partners. Many of us, even as parents ourselves, revert to seeking approval when with our own parents. This longing doesn’t fade, even as we mature.
In The Young Woman’s Handbook, Bennett discusses how transitioning into adulthood can deepen the parent-child relationship. Young adults should recognize their parents as human beings who have made mistakes while doing their best. For parents, the challenge lies in acknowledging their children as independent adults. It’s essential to adjust the protective instincts that were necessary in their formative years. Rather than continuing to control their lives, parents can choose to guide without imposing, fostering a relationship based on mutual respect.
This evolution doesn’t mean parents become friends with their children, but rather, they expand their roles to appreciate the individuals their children have become. It’s about advising rather than lecturing and getting to know the wonderful person your child has grown into. If parenting had a concluding clause, it would say, “Let go.”
Bennett encourages regular communication, advising young women to reach out to their parents frequently. However, she also recognizes that parents need to balance their desire for connection with their children’s independence. The frequency of communication should be tailored to the relationship, whether that involves daily texts or scheduled Sunday calls. The key is to ensure consistent check-ins while respecting each other’s space.
When it comes to social media, Bennett highlights the need for awareness. Young women should be cautious about privacy settings and avoid posting content that could adversely affect their professional prospects. It’s vital to remember that social media is often a curated representation of life, not the full story.
Bennett also discusses dating, advising young women to keep their options open while dating. This approach helps maintain perspective and protect their hearts from potential disappointment. Moms can play a crucial role in ensuring safety by advising their daughters to meet dates in public places and to remain in communication if anything feels off.
On the topic of casual relationships, Bennett expresses concern that “Friends with Benefits” arrangements can complicate emotions. While these relationships may seem appealing, the transition back to friendship can be fraught with challenges.
If a guide for young men were to be written, Bennett suggests that the principles of humility and respect would remain paramount. Treating relationships, jobs, and life experiences with appreciation is essential for success.
For further information on pregnancy and related topics, check out this excellent resource on Genetics and IVF Institute. For insights on enhancing male fertility, visit Fertility Booster for Men, an authority in this field. Additionally, you can read about transitioning into a positive parent-child dynamic in our other blog post found here.
In summary, fostering a healthy adult relationship with your daughter involves recognizing mutual respect, balancing communication with independence, and providing guidance without control. Each stage of life requires flexibility and understanding to nurture this evolving relationship.