Today, I found myself questioning my effectiveness as a mother. It’s a common sentiment, but it feels overwhelming at times.
This morning, I prioritized my own needs over my child’s. I took a moment to enjoy a warm cup of coffee before attending to the baby’s diaper change. In moments of frustration, I raised my voice at our toddler when she refused to eat the meal I prepared. I set firm boundaries, often saying “no” more frequently than I offered affirmatives. There were times I spoke to my children through clenched teeth, a behavior I wish to avoid.
The advice to “enjoy every moment” often seems unrealistic amidst the chaotic reality of parenting. The closest I have come to finding joy in the messiness was when the baby created a colorful mess with crayons—certainly not my proudest moment as a caregiver.
Despite my shortcomings, I recognize the importance of not dwelling too long on the “what ifs” and “could haves.” It is vital to acknowledge my successes as well. For instance, I engaged with my children by constructing a fort from pillows and blankets, demonstrating my creativity. I exhibited patience while allowing my toddler to struggle with her seatbelt, ultimately guiding her when she was ready. I made a conscious effort to put my phone away, focusing on cuddling with the kids instead. I offered comfort with soothing kisses and hugs during moments of distress.
As parents, our drive is to provide the best for our children—not just in ordinary ways, but in extraordinary ways. Often, we set high expectations for ourselves, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy. It is essential to recognize that focusing solely on our missteps can lead to unnecessary guilt.
Human nature may predispose us to concentrate on the negatives, leading to what is often termed “mommy guilt.” Yet, it’s equally important to celebrate our accomplishments. We have nurtured life, sustained our children through feeding, and tirelessly cared for them through sleepless nights. We’ve faced challenges and cleaned up after unpredictable incidents. Above all, we have loved our children with an unconditional depth that is profound.
When we take a moment to reflect, we often find that our positive actions far outweigh the negatives. Parenting is a continuous balancing act, filled with both triumphs and setbacks. It is about being aware of our actions and maintaining composure when faced with challenges. Ultimately, it’s about striving to find equilibrium in our journey.
As we move forward, we may stumble at times, but we also have the capacity to rise and learn from our experiences. If we are fortunate, we will improve our balance each day, making us more effective caregivers.
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Summary
Parenting is a journey filled with ups and downs. While it’s easy to focus on the mistakes made, it’s crucial to recognize the positive aspects of our parenting. By reflecting on both the challenges and the successes, we can strive to be better caregivers while nurturing our children with love and compassion.