Recently, I took my children out for bagels after swim lessons. As we approached the counter, my youngest, a toddler, spotted some cookies. I knew immediately what was about to transpire.
“Cookie!” he shouted, pointing excitedly. “Cookie! COOKIE!”
I calmly told him that a bagel slathered in cream cheese was a delightful enough treat for 10 a.m. It was breakfast time, and cookies could wait for another occasion. Naturally, he wasn’t thrilled. He shook his head and began to wail “No!” It was clear we were heading for a meltdown.
Out of nowhere, an arm emerged from behind the counter, presenting a gigantic, sprinkle-covered cookie. “Here you go, little buddy. Enjoy a cookie on the house,” said the store owner.
I found myself in a difficult position. I generally don’t condone rewarding my children for whining. As a second child, my son often finds himself competing for attention, and I tend to prioritize maintaining my sanity over his occasional demands. If I declined the cookie, a tantrum was inevitable—one loud enough to go viral on social media. With a line of customers watching, I chose to let him keep the cookie.
Sometimes, that’s just how things go.
However, to all the kind-hearted strangers out there, I want to convey a message: please trust that I have things under control. If my child is crying in the cereal aisle or throwing a fit at the store, know that as their parent, I have a strategy in place—even if it involves not collapsing into a puddle of tears myself.
I appreciate your desire to help, but if you see me managing a cranky child, please avoid doing any of the following:
- Offering them a lollipop or cookie while insinuating that I’m a mean, fun-hating parent.
- Promising my child that “if you behave, your mommy will buy you that overpriced toy.”
- Giving me disapproving looks as if you’re about to call protective services because I won’t let my toddler have something shiny from the shelf.
Your well-intentioned interference complicates my parenting efforts. It undermines the boundaries I strive to maintain, leading my kids to think that loud outbursts will get them what they want. If you genuinely want to assist, a sympathetic smile can be incredibly helpful during those trying moments.
Or, when the kids aren’t looking, just pass me the cookie. Unlike my little negotiators, I’ve earned that treat.
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In summary, while I appreciate the generosity of others, please refrain from undermining my parenting efforts. A little understanding goes a long way in supporting parents navigating the complexities of child-rearing.