As I navigate through my youngest daughter’s final year of high school, I can’t help but reflect on the bittersweet journey we’re on together. This is the third entry in a series where I share my experiences as a stay-at-home mom, watching my daughter prepare for college and contemplating my own transition into an empty nest. If you missed the first two installments, they’re worth a read.
It feels like just yesterday when my friend Sara was sending her youngest off to college while I was preparing my daughter, Lily, for her freshman year. I would often ask Sara, “How does it feel?” My curiosity was tinged with jealousy, fear, and a sense of disbelief. It was hard to imagine a time when my youngest would be leaving home, especially after the challenges I faced during my older daughter’s high school years. Even though I was sending my firstborn to college simultaneously, I felt trapped in a time loop, convinced that senior year would never arrive.
“It’s surreal,” Sara would say, noting that her home would finally be empty after 21 years of parenting. I started signing off my emails with the countdown: “Two years, 11 months.” I wasn’t desperate to rush the days away, but I was reminding myself that they would eventually come.
Yesterday, I spent the afternoon baking cookies. Baking has always been a cherished pastime for me; it’s a meditative escape. Lily loves having cookies to pack for her job as a summer camp counselor, and she often brings them up to my bed for a sweet midnight snack before we drift off to sleep. As I mixed the batter for her favorite red velvet cookies, it hit me—my days of baking for her are numbered. What will it feel like to no longer whip up her favorite double-chocolate breakfast muffins, which I’ve made at least once a week?
Of course, I can still send her cookies and muffins once she’s off at college. The thought of packing boxes filled with treats, scrawling her new PO Box number in bold marker, and racing to the post office makes me smile. She’ll share them with her friends and regale them with stories of how her mom has always been her personal baker. It’ll create connections and memories, but it won’t quite be the same as those moments we’ve shared at home.
This last year of high school has made it clear: change is inevitable. I’ve always found comfort in routine. I prefer knowing the restaurant menu or the route I’m taking. But now, as Lily applies to ten diverse colleges—a mix of targets, reaches, and safeties—I’m faced with uncertainty. She says she’d be happy attending any of them, and that’s what matters most.
In just a few months, I could be mailing cookies to her across the country or just a state away. Or perhaps she’ll choose a school close enough for me to deliver them in person. The unknown is daunting, but it’s a reality I must accept. Senior year is a time of uncertainty, both for the students and the parents.
For more insightful discussions on parenting and navigating these transitions, check out this great post on navigating family dynamics. If you’re considering starting your own family, there are numerous resources available, like this excellent guide on donor insemination, or explore options at reputable retailers of at-home insemination kits that can help you on your journey.
In summary, as I prepare for the impending changes in my life and my daughter’s, I cherish each moment, from baking cookies to sharing late-night conversations. While the future may hold uncertainty, the love and memories we create will be forever baked into our hearts.
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