It’s a Saturday morning, and I’m rushing to secure a spot in my favorite 8 a.m. step class. The usual participants are women aged between their mid-30s to early 50s, but today, I find myself behind two young, first-time mothers. I overhear their conversation:
“You look fantastic! You’re so slim,” remarks Laura to her friend, Sarah, both of whom are carrying adorable babies under a year old.
Sarah frowns. “Actually, I’m a few pounds heavier than I was before having Max.”
I glance at her—she looks undeniably slender. As a mother of three who has always been conscious about fitness, I like to think I can assess these things accurately.
“Totally get it,” Laura replies. “I can’t run as far as I used to before having Emma, and the weight just doesn’t want to budge. Plus, I’m not ready to give up my wine.”
You go, girl. Do not sacrifice the wine. Meanwhile, Laura is even slimmer than Sarah.
I understand the sentiment. After the whirlwind of bringing a new baby home settles, many new mothers become fixated on “regaining their bodies.” Despite knowing that life has irrevocably changed, there’s an expectation that our bodies should reflect a pre-baby version of ourselves.
As I watch them head to childcare, I feel compelled to share these insights:
1. Your Appearance Will Change Permanently.
Your body will evolve in ways you may not anticipate. Even if you achieve your pre-baby weight, the distribution of those pounds will differ. The landscape of your body has transformed; areas may sag or plump up unexpectedly. For instance, I notice my bathing suit fitting differently, the skin around my knees has changed due to carrying extra weight for nine months (three times), and my belly button has seen better days. On a positive note, some features may even appear more defined, like my cheekbones and the curve of my hips.
2. Your Physical Abilities Will Alter.
Not only will your physique change, but your body’s functionality will too. I doubt I’ll ever be able to run five miles again without feeling a twinge in my right hip. A flat stomach seems like a distant memory, no matter the number of crunches I attempt. Jumping jacks now come with the risk of an embarrassing mishap, and holding a plank without letting my stomach sag is a continual challenge. Even two and a half years after my youngest daughter’s arrival, I’m still learning what my body can and cannot do.
3. Your Body Will Accomplish Remarkable Feats.
Your body won’t let you down when you wake for the fourth time at night to comfort a crying baby. You will find the strength to hold your infant or toddler for extended periods, and surprisingly, your biceps will become more toned from these moments. You’ll discover how fast you can move when your little one makes a beeline for a busy parking lot. Embrace the unexpected capabilities of your new mama body; it’s truly impressive.
4. Find Beauty in the Changes.
The discourse surrounding post-pregnancy bodies is relentless. Yes, our bodies may sag or appear different, but that doesn’t equate to a loss of beauty. Each of us processes these changes uniquely. Our society’s obsession with body image often fails to prepare us for our new realities, but it’s essential to recognize that our perspectives have shifted as well. Beauty can manifest in surprising ways, transforming the ordinary into something extraordinary. I recall marveling at my daughter’s long eyelashes as she slept, thinking they were the most stunning thing I’d ever seen. And who hasn’t found themselves calling their newborn’s dirty diaper beautiful? Remember, your soft lines and any new curves tell a story. Your voice, now used to soothe your baby to sleep, holds its own kind of beauty.
These reflections on my post-baby body come with honesty. I still grapple with accepting my body and its new limitations. I can’t help but feel envious of celebrity mothers with their personal trainers and meal plans. I’m not thrilled about my changing bladder or persistent lower back pain, nor do I relish the need for shapewear.
Yet, there’s no path back to what was, so why dwell in negativity? The most rational choice is to embrace the mama body I have now and, of course, never give up the wine.
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