In today’s fast-paced world, many families find it challenging to carve out meaningful time together. Often, what we call “family time” can feel forced, as everyone is pulled from their preferred activities to engage in traditional pastimes like board games or family dinners. After a few hours of this obligatory togetherness, it’s common for family members to retreat to their own devices, leading to an experience more stressful than restorative.
This phenomenon is similar to what those in the military refer to as “mandatory fun”—activities you can’t decline, regardless of your personal feelings toward them. Just as families gather for weddings, work events, or school performances, the challenge lies in making these moments enjoyable rather than burdensome. For every family that thrives on game night, there’s another that struggles to coordinate even a simple meal together.
Having spent over two decades in the military as an officer, my partner, Alex, and I have raised our two children amidst frequent relocations. In this lifestyle, where the duration of stay is often uncertain, and family members might live far away, the concept of family takes on new meanings. Like those in academia or healthcare, military families learn to adapt, discovering that flexibility in scheduling can lead to unexpected, yet valuable, moments of connection.
Here are three insights from military families that can enhance your family time:
- Everyday Activities are Quality Time.
Your immediate family is your core support system, and engaging in even the most mundane tasks can strengthen bonds. Whether it’s navigating to a new doctor’s appointment with a crying child in the backseat, or hunting for that oddly named furniture piece in Ikea’s maze-like store, these shared experiences are invaluable. You don’t need to plan extravagant events; just enjoy being together in daily life. - Cultivate Local Connections.
It’s natural to feel a pull towards distant relatives during the holidays, but it’s equally important to nurture relationships with those nearby. While extended family may love you dearly, they may not always be present for significant life events. Focus on building close ties with local friends and neighbors, even if their quirks drive you a bit crazy. Consider creating your own festive gatherings with these chosen family members, blending your lives in meaningful ways. - Cherish Relaxed Moments Together.
One summer in Arizona, we were lucky enough to have a home with a stunning backyard pool under an old oak tree. Friday nights after a long workweek became our cherished ritual: we’d whip up margaritas, let the kids prepare a fun picnic, and unwind in the pool while chatting and laughing. If you have a cozy family room, a beautiful garden, or even a spacious bed perfect for lazy mornings, make it a point to savor these shared moments.
Military families understand that not every situation will be perfect, which teaches us to appreciate the good times when they occur. This perspective is beneficial for all families, including ours. Now that Alex has retired from active service and our children are growing up, I look forward to creating new memories with them, even if I have to schedule it in advance.
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Summary:
Military families offer valuable lessons in appreciating everyday moments, fostering local relationships, and finding joy in simple activities. By adopting these strategies, your family can enhance its time together, making the most of each shared experience.