Parenting
By Lisa Carter
Updated: March 13, 2019
Originally Published: March 21, 2015
Years ago, I actively participated in an online community focused on Down Syndrome. I absorbed the myriad of questions and discussions, from joy to sorrow, and everything in between. One comment struck me profoundly: “I never knew I wanted a child with Down Syndrome until I had one.” The depth of that sentiment resonated with me, and I found myself reflecting on its meaning.
At that time, I was uncertain if I would ever embrace those words. My journey toward acceptance of my child’s cognitive differences was challenging; it was a struggle to comprehend how it would shape my life.
Now, as I watch my daughter, Mia, who is three years old, I can genuinely say: I never knew I wanted a child with Down Syndrome until I had her. Our love for her is boundless.
Mia’s personality is a significant part of our affection for her, but it’s also the unique qualities that come with her extra chromosome. She has an extraordinary ability to connect with me on a profound level. On days when I feel overwhelmed, she intuitively senses my emotions. In those moments, she approaches me, gently cradles my face in her small hands, and kisses my cheek with a tenderness that melts my heart.
For a long time, I held a cynical view. While pregnant with Mia, I encountered countless accounts from mothers who expressed their deep love for children with Down Syndrome, and I thought, “That’s wonderful, but I would prefer a child without this condition.” I had difficulty believing that anyone could truly embrace the challenges of intellectual disabilities or see any positives.
As I reflect on my previous mindset, I wonder how friends who knew me then would perceive my transformation. I can confidently state that I have evolved.
Some might argue, “You can love Mia because she is ‘high functioning’.” However, I find terms like “high functioning” and “low functioning” problematic, as they unfairly categorize individuals based on societal norms. The truth is that Mia is not particularly “high functioning.” She may only say a handful of words at her age, yet she comprehends much of what we communicate. She is simply Mia, a little girl with Down Syndrome. Her unique traits are an integral part of who she is, and as I learn more about her, my love for her deepens beyond words.
I never knew I wanted a child with Down Syndrome until I met Mia. I am grateful for her in every way.
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In summary, the journey of acceptance and love for a child with Down Syndrome can be transformative. Embracing the unique qualities that come with it enriches the parent-child relationship in unforeseen ways.