Updated: August 21, 2015
Originally Published: March 20, 2015
I find myself sitting in Starbucks, enjoying a moment of solitude without my children! Don’t envy me too much; I just left the dentist, and I have preschool pickup in 40 minutes. Usually surrounded by toddlers and preschoolers, this diverse mix of individuals at Starbucks feels refreshing and intriguing. However, I’ve noticed that my perceptions of these café-goers have changed dramatically since becoming a parent.
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Mother with a baby in a stroller:
Pre-kids: How adorable! I can’t wait to spend my days here with my baby, reading and enjoying peaceful moments.
Post-kids: That’s adorable! I hope she gets her latte before the baby wakes up. Did she grab that caffeine fix because she only had three hours of sleep or as a reward for tackling five loads of laundry this morning? -
Affectionate young couple in their twenties:
Pre-kids: Aww, they look so happy!
Post-kids: I hope they’re using protection, or their carefree days will vanish sooner than they think. -
Charming man working on his laptop:
Pre-kids: He’s quite attractive! (If this were pre-husband, I would have thought about how long it takes to add milk to my coffee, hoping for a rom-com moment.)
Post-kids: Ugh, I keep telling my partner that telecommuting is the future. Starts texting husband, attaching a covert picture of the man working. -
Woman with a toddler on a leash:
Pre-kids: Is he a pet?
Post-kids: Checks Amazon for prices on toddler leashes. -
Teenage girl:
Pre-kids: Ah, high school was such a blast! I loved hanging out at Starbucks after class.
Post-kids: I bet she babysits! Approaches her excitedly like a lunatic. -
Fit woman in workout attire:
Pre-kids: She looks fantastic! I should really hit the gym more often.
Post-kids: I’m going to convince myself she has no kids so that I feel better about my own situation. -
Business meeting attendees:
Pre-kids: That looks tedious.
Post-kids: They get to converse with adults ALL DAY! And drink coffee at their leisure. Do you think they’d mind if I joined them? -
Woman on her cell phone:
Pre-kids: How rude; I can hear her entire conversation.
Post-kids: How exciting! I get to eavesdrop on an adult conversation. It’s almost like we’re chatting together. -
Couple in their thirties:
Pre-kids: So cute! Enjoying coffee together in the middle of the day!
Post-kids: Who is watching their children? What kind of charmed life do they lead? -
Elderly couple:
Pre-kids: So sweet. Still in love after all these years.
Post-kids: They must be in their forties but look so much younger because they had three kids in a short time.
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In summary, our perceptions of individuals in social settings like Starbucks can shift significantly before and after becoming parents. What once seemed idyllic often transforms into a mix of admiration, curiosity, and a bit of envy as we navigate the complexities of parenthood and all its demands.